Undisclosed Desires
by iheartShules
Summary: When Reese makes all the decisions on a case Joss sets about telling him off which leads to an unexpected kiss leaving both unsettled. They decide to pretend it never happened but when numbers, personal affairs, and their feelings all collide they realize they might not be able to fight what they're feeling! ::Okay bad summary this takes place sometime s2 between episodes 8-10::
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: Hi my fellow POI peeps *waves* this story took me by storm quite literally I was sitting down to start writing for my Moments series, and I got this idea gnawing at me so I started to write it out, and like four hours later realized I had to finish it before I continued on with the Moments series. So sorry if you are waiting for that story to come it will be a teensy bit longer since I haven't even made an outline for the story yet!**_

_**I want to thank Elaine who is my friend, and proofreader who had been bombarded with chapter after chapter of this story to read for me! I, thank you for the positive feedback and so I will trudge ahead and post. I always get anxious when first posting a story afraid my ideas that I think are good really aren't, but she assured me this was a good story. So I am trying to let go of my harsh opinions of myself! **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nada, seriously nothing of this is mine whatsoever, which is a good thing the show would bomb out if I owned it lol. Creese would be solving cases from bed, Reese wouldn't ever have clothes on...I could go on but you get the picture the show is in the rightful hands, I just like to take them out to play };D**_

* * *

"So the plan was to get ambushed?"

"Carter, not now!" John sighed as they hunkered down beside one another as more gunshots ricocheted off the pavement.

"No, its fine, clearly you have this under control," she huffed. John shot her a dark look but she wasn't looking at him to see it.

"Carter!" John snapped it this time. He wasn't in the mood to be told how terrible the plan had been. He knew it already and he didn't need to be reminded.

"John, we don't have an escape route."

"Yes we do."

"Where?" She eyed the wall behind them with one small square window. "That window overlooks the water John, not a very good escape option. The water is like 30 degrees."

"I'll distract them by jumping out the window and you shoot them." Her eyes flew to his.

"John, that's an even worse plan than just barreling in here, guns blazing!" she grabbed his arm when he was about to get up.

"Carter, it's the only option we have." He wasn't too happy with the plan either, but he had gotten them into this mess, he was going to get them out of it.

"No! How about we wait for backup? Fusco is on his way."

"I'm not risking you getting shot prior to his arrival."

"John, this is insane, you'll get hypothermia-at the very least, maybe even shot in the process."

"I won't be in the water that long," he assured her. Before she could muster anymore of a protest he stood up rushing the window, firing his weapon as he went. John burst through the window as they returned gunfire. He floated in the air for mere seconds before he hit the icy water below. His body was swallowed whole in the frigid depths, knocking the wind out of him. Oh shit, was this water cold! His lungs screamed for oxygen immediately, his limbs felt heavy as he struggled to break the surface.

John just hoped like hell Joss was alright, but he knew she could take care of herself. She had told him that on many occasions, so he was trusting in her assurances that she could. John broke the surface gasping in much needed air as his entire body shuddered violently. He looked around the bay searching for the shoreline. John finally saw it off to his left and he began slowly swimming his way over to it, feeling his muscles tighten. The bitter coldness of the water was making it hard to stay afloat, but he concentrated on his breathing. When he made it close to the shoreline he stood up slowly, wading through the water. John almost didn't hear Carter screaming. His instincts kicked in and aimed the gun he still held. But Joss wasn't screaming for help. She was running towards him, away from the warehouse they had been cornered in that overlooked the bay. Well he was just glad his terrible plan worked and that she was alright. John dropped his gun, unhappy to hold it as his body viciously shook.

"Oh my god John, your lips are already blue." She shrugged her jacket off as he dropped to his knees, the trembling so bad he couldn't stay upright. He couldn't even tell her not to worry, that he had only been in the water for possibly five minutes.

"F-fine." his teeth chattered so loudly. He needed to know she was alright. He hadn't meant to just leave her stranded, but he knew the men would look and shoot at him.

"You're not fine," she groused as she threw her jacket around his shoulders.

"N-no, a-are y-you a-alright?" he forced out, trying to control the shuddering his body did, but to no avail.

"John, they were so busy shooting at you they totally forgot about me. I clipped each guy in the knee, you'd be proud," she huffed, huddling close to him and rubbing his shoulders. "I got to call for an ambulance, John."

"N-no h-hospitals."

"John, you probably have hypothermia."

"I-I c-can walk to y-your car."

"No, you can't. You are shivering way too hard." Okay, he hadn't really thought he could make the half mile trek either, he just didn't want to go to a hospital.

"L-Lionel is o-on h-his way, s-so is F-Finch." He'd just wait for them.

"John, they'll be here in like fifteen minutes, that's too long! You need warmth now." she reached in her pants pocket, pulling out her cell phone. John stopped her from calling.

"Y-you c-could always s-strip d-down to n-nothing. I h-heard b-body heat w-warms y-you up faster." He shot her a devilish smile as his body took another chance to shudder violently.

"John Reese, did you hit your head on rocks on your way down?! Once I know you won't die on me from hypothermia I'm going to smack you upside the head myself!" She leveled him her best 'don't mess with me' look while she called someone.

"N-no, h-hospitals." he tried again.

"Fusco, hey its Carter, are you almost at Oyster Bay?" she demanded while huddling closer to his shivering body, rubbing her free hand up and down his arm. "Well John here decided he was going to play decoy and hopped into the bay. Yes, I know its like ice water this time of year, I tried to stop him he doesn't listen! Just hurry I need to get him warm fast!" She hung up and he stared at her, trying to focus on her rather than how cold he was. "Fusco said they are probably five minutes from us, they'll be here soon, just hang in there, John."

"C-Carter, g-go, its t-too c-cold for y-you to b-be outside w-without a j-jacket on." John tried to shift from her but she tightened her hold on him.

"John, you are very aggravating, you know that?"

"W-what do y-you mean?"

"I'll tell you what it means when I'm sure it will penetrate your thick skull!"

"T-the way y-you t-talk t-to me Carter, m-makes me so w-warm a-and f-fuzzy inside." He tried to joke but she shot him down when she didn't smile. "I'll b-be fine C-Carter, s-see the shivering is f-fading." he clamped down on his teeth to cease the incessant chatter. He was going to need to see a dentist at this rate.

"I would have believed that if you weren't clenching your jaw so hard to stop your teeth from chattering together." She nailed him with another of her patented glares. She rubbed hard at his arms. "John?"

"Y-yes Carter?" he gave up trying to stop shivering since she wasn't believing it anyway.

"Mr. Reese, Detective Carter!" John turned when Finch's voice washed over the sound of crashing waves. John struggled to get up and Carter's hands were on his arm assisting him.

"F-Finch, L-Lionel, s-so g-glad y-you could m-make it."

"Oh dear, Mr. Reese," Finch tugged his own jacket off placing it on top of Carter's. John watched as Lionel did the same.

"G-give y-yours to Carter, L-Lionel."

"Give it to John." Carter demanded when Lionel turned to hand her his coat. John glowered when she crossed her arms refusing to take the jacket even as a shiver shook her own body. The wind picked up and all she was wearing was her pantsuit blazer.

"L-Lionel." He wished the damn stutter to his voice would go. How could he be menacing if he couldn't stop stuttering?!

"Sorry Mr. Happy, she wins out." Lionel smirked at him throwing his jacket on top of him. He opened his mouth to assure Lionel that even though he was trembling he could still kick his ass, but his teeth chattered hard as he violently shook once again. He felt Finch and Carter wrap their arms around his body helping him forward.

"Both suspects are wounded in the knees and I cuffed them together to a radiator inside the small shoreline warehouse." Carter called out as Fusco hurried away with his gun drawn. "Finch, can you get John to your car alright? I need to help Fusco."

"Yes, of course, go help Detective Fusco. I'll assist John."

"C-Carter, I-I t-thought you w-were going to g-get n-naked for me?" He forced a smile on his lips.

"Finch, check him for brain damage!" she said with a smile on her face. Joss rushed towards the warehouse to go help Fusco. John felt Harold's gentle hands pressing him forward.

"Are you alright Mr. Reese?"

"I-I'll b-be fine o-once I g-get a chance t-to warm u-up." He shuddered as he allowed his friend to help him towards his car.

"So I take it Vincent and Dwayne Smithson were drug smugglers," Finch said, his breathing labored from helping him the entire walk as they finally made it to his car. He opened the passenger side door for him and John slowly climbed in. Finch was in the car in a flash, blasting the heat. John shook uncontrollably as his teeth chattered harder.

"D-definitely the p-perpetrators."

"No doubt. I take it the detective isn't very happy with you at the moment?" John smiled.

"N-no, s-she's not. I-I don't t-think she l-liked the p-plan."

"I have to agree with her, Mr. Reese, it wasn't very smart." John leaned his wet head against the headrest. Not him too. He had already heard how terrible his first plan was, now he had to listen to them gripe about his second idea. Well, it had worked, right?

"Finch, l-look, it w-worked o-out."

"You don't care enough about yourself, Mr. Reese, or you don't trust in us to be there for you."

"I t-trust y-you guys."

"Which means you don't care enough about yourself, Mr. Reese! You need people like myself and Detective Carter who look out for your best interests, whereas you don't." John didn't want to argue about this. He had thought Carter was going to tell him off, but Finch and Fusco arrived. Finch began driving them down an empty road. It was late in the evening, and in the dead of Fall not many people came up to Oyster Bay during the cooler months. John felt a little warmer with the hot air blasting him but he continued to shiver. When they saw a small market Finch pulled over in the parking lot.

"W-What are y-you doing?"

"Going to find you a change of clothes, and an electric blanket, Mr. Reese. Then I'm taking you to the nearest motel to get you warm before we continue our two hour drive back home."

"W-why didn't you b-bring Bear a-along?" John asked as Finch climbed out of the running car. But Finch didn't answer him. He swung the door shut to engulf John in the heat some more and limped his way inside the market, leaving John to think about what he said not caring about himself.

* * *

Joss was indeed going to kill John. He never thought about himself, ever. Last night he just hopped out of the window without listening to her protests, or that they could have waited the men out for Finch and Fusco to get there. Nope, the man had to do as the man wanted. Typical pigheaded men! Well she was going to give the man a piece of her mind whether or not he wanted to hear it. She knew he didn't think of himself as high as he thought about others. Well, that's why he had Finch and her to do that for him. Think about his best interests and having his back! Joss pulled her cell phone out, leaning back in her desk chair before dialing his phone number. John answered on the first ring.

"Hello Carter." his warm voice washed over her and she was glad he was alright. But she was supposed to be angry with him and this time she was going to hold onto her anger!

"Hello, John." each word dripped with venomous bite to them, hoping he knew how upset she still was.

"Sounds like you're still mad." He paused to sneeze viciously, making her clutch the phone tighter to her ear. "But I'm alive and hypothermia free, doesn't that count for anything?"

"You sound sick, John." she heard him sneeze again in answer to her. "Damn it John, this is why you don't go swimming in the middle of FALL!"

"I'll be fine."

"Heard that one before, are you drinking lots of fluids?"

"Yes."

"Alcohol doesn't count." He chuckled a little.

"I didn't drink alcohol, Carter."

"Coffee doesn't count either John." The man always was drinking coffee, which was good she agreed, though it wasn't a drink of choice to battle an illness.

"Uh-oh."

"John!"

"Yes, I'm drinking water!" he sighed, and she knew he was aggravated with her. "And coffee." he added at the end. She didn't care, she just needed to make sure he was taking care of himself.

"Do you have a fever?"

"No."

"Are you lying to me?"

"No."

"John!" His answer had been way too quick for her to take it seriously.

"Maybe."

"You're sick! That's it, I'm coming over." she couldn't let him take care of himself or he'd be dead by the end of the day! And men were big babies when they got sick, but she figured John was going to be even worse of a patient than normal men.

"No, don't worry, Carter." He paused to sneeze again. "I'll be alright."

"When's the last time you had a cold, John?" If she took a guess she'd say he hadn't had one in a while. If that was the case, John was going to laid out because of it.

"Its been years, but I assured Finch I'll be alright and I'm assuring you the same thing. I'm fine."

"I'm coming over." she gathered some of her files so she could work on them at his place. "Give me your address, on my way over I'm going to pick up some chicken noodle soup."

"Carter, you don't have to come over."

"John, I suggest you be quiet; after last night I'm still pissed at you." He sneezed again and she rolled her eyes before she gathered up the files to work on. She crammed her cell in the crux of her shoulder and ear, grabbing a scrap piece of paper and a pen. "Address, John."

Joss found John's place with relative ease as she held a bag of food in one arm and her mountain of files in the other. She had stopped to pick up some over the counter medicine and kleenex for John, as well as the soup before heading over here. She was going to make sure the man ate and then drank plenty of fluids; then she was going to nail him to the wall for his antics last night. She found his apartment number and knocked. She heard heavy footsteps before the door opened and she just stood there staring. Joss couldn't help it, she had never seen John quite like this before, he stood on the threshold wearing just dark gray boxer-briefs and a white t-shirt. His 'man in the suit' attire was gone, leaving her to see John in a whole different way. Which wasn't unpleasant, her eyes skimmed from the top of his mussed hair down to his bare feet suggesting he hadn't been out of bed in a while. She forced her gaze onto his face to see how he looked. He definitely looked sick. His blue eyes were glassy, he was slightly pale, his high cheeks were a little too red as was his nose.

"You look like hell, John."

"Thanks, Carter, I always appreciate your compliments." his voice was gravelly as she shot him a smile, sidestepping him to enter his place.

"Nice digs, John."

"Thanks." he let out a wallop of a sneeze as she placed the bags of food, kleenex and medicine on his counter in his adjoining kitchen. Granite countertops, nice, she wished she had this fancy of a kitchen herself. She threw her files down next to the food before shucking her jacket off of her. Joss watched him with a careful eye as she slung her jacket on the back of the barstool nearest her. She began pulling the containers out.

"I got you extra soup so you can heat it in the microwave for later." He nodded his head, moving towards her. "Once I make sure you have some food, its to bed with you." He eyed her saying nothing, but she saw a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. "Don't even say it, John." Even as she said it a smile graced her lips.

"What?" He sounded so innocent, but the look on his face was anything but.

"You know what." she pointed to the barstool. "Sit and eat, John." He did as she told him without another sound which was astonishing to say the least. The man must not be feeling all that well for him to be ordered around. He slowly ate using the plastic spoon the restaurant supplied him with. John ate and after about five minutes later the container was empty. He stood up as he sneezed once more. Joss shook her head behind him as he walked to his bed. He got under the covers and she put her hands on her hips staring holes into him.

"Spit it out Carter." He sighed, leaning back into his pillows and pulled his arms out from under the covers, laying them on his stomach as he yawned.

"Spit what out?" her anger over yesterday burning bright in her. John was in for a lecture and he had nowhere to go to escape her. Usually he ended her lectures by leaving or hanging up on her. Well, she was at his place and he was sick which meant he couldn't get out of this one!

"Whatever you want to say." he smiled slowly as he shifted to sit up and patted the bed beside him. Joss grumbled a bit to herself as she sat down beside him.

"Since you invited me to spit it out, as you so delicately put it, I think I'm going to take you up on that offer!" she crossed her arms across her chest staring at him.

"I think I regret saying it like that now."

"You should." She smiled though she felt none too happy at the moment. "You never listen John, you just go on about your business, caring less and less about yourself." He might not think his safety was a big deal, but it was too her.

"Carter-" she wasn't having any of it. So she spoke over him. "No, John, you be quiet. You are going to listen to me now!" she dared him to deny her.

"Alright, Carter," he replied almost too meekly.

"John, how the hell did you know I'd be alright huh? I mean, you just left me with two armed men. I know that I can handle myself in that situation, but that's besides the point! You didn't even think of the fact that they could have shot you! You were lucky they were crap shooters and missed every shot! But what if they weren't, huh? What if they had clipped you? Then you would have been in the water, injured?!" she knew her voice was getting louder but she couldn't help it. The man really didn't care about his safety as much as he should!

"Can I speak now?" he asked as he sniffed his stuffed up nose.

"No! And another thing, you don't get to decide everything; I have a voice too. We are partners in this-whatever the hell this is, and well, you didn't listen to me last night. You just ordered me around, not giving a thought about yourself!" Joss felt better getting that off her chest. She waited and when he said nothing she let out a long suffering sigh. "Well, do you have anything to say for yourself, John?"

"I didn't know if I was allowed to speak or not." Her eyelids narrowed on him as she heard the distinct sound of laughter in the man's voice. Argh, he made her so angry she wanted to tear out her own hair!

"You think this is funny, John? Its not! You're my friend and your well being is as important to me as mine is!"

"I'm sorry Carter." She heard the genuine sincerity in his voice. She waited for more. "I'm sorry for not taking into account your opinion on the matter. You're right, we are a team that work together and I should listen to your opinions as well." She searched his eyes, seeing honesty in them. She nodded curtly, glad to get half the apology she deserved.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Annnnnnnnd?" Did she really have to browbeat this man into an apology for risking his life?!

"I must not be following you, Carter?" He sounded perplexed.

"You're sorry for risking your life unnecessarily!" she motioned with her hand waiting for him to continue.

"Sure, that too," he said sneezing abruptly again; she exhaled, her anger fresh.

"Oh my god, John!" Flinging her arms up in apparent exasperation. He eyed her looking a little unsure.

"What?"

"You don't see anything wrong with what you did, do you?" Joss hadn't realized she had moved so close to him that their faces were inches apart. She poked a finger against his chest, earning a look; well too damn bad, she was angry too! "You don't care about yourself enough, well I do!"

"I know you do, Carter."

"Obviously you don't!" she made a move to get up but John grabbed her wrist stopping her movement. "Let go, John." She tugged hard on her arm, angry with him. The man was more stubborn than a mule; she needed to go before she said something she'd regret.

"No, I am sorry, Carter."

"John, you don't care that I care a lot about you." She turned more fully towards him pinning him with her harsh glare. "You don't care what would happen to me if you were hurt! You don't care that I-" but the last of her rant was cut off when John reared forward wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck pulling her to him, capturing her mouth with his. She sat frozen in surprise. John Reese, her friend John Reese, was kissing her? Her eyes slid shut as unknown feelings were evoked by his mouth pressing into hers.

Joss sat still in shock as his lips remained connected with hers. Oh wow, did his mouth feel good on hers. Joss felt herself melt into him as she kissed him back. She leaned into him, her hand that hung at her side lifted to cup his stubble roughened jaw, while the other was still held by him. John let go of her hand to tangle his fingers in her hair. Joss moved closer, needing more. Alarm bells rang in her head, but when John's tongue swept across her lips her brain shut down altogether. Joss opened her mouth in invitation and sighed when he accepted.

John angled his head to deepen the kiss,making her breath hitch as his tongue touched hers. His tongue was so soft, warm, and wonderful. Oh good lord, what was happening here? Joss wasn't one to be outdone, so she did some exploring of her own. Joss ran her hands from his jaw and chest to wrap around his neck pulling him closer. She searched his mouth, loving his taste of coffee and soup.

Joss wasn't sure how long they were locked in the kiss before it ended, but she was gasping in ragged breaths when they both sprang apart, finally grasping the fact of what they were doing.

"Oh my god." She pressed a hand to her mouth, staring at him wide eyed. Okay, that happened right? Her mouth was wet and her lips felt swollen as she rubbed her fingers against them. It did, it wasn't her imagination.

"I-uh-I don't know why I just did that," John said, a perplexed tone in his voice. Joss scrambled up, bumping into the nightstand beside his bed in her haste to place as much space between them as possible.

"N-no, its okay, John, y-you, you're sick," she motioned to him. "And I'm leaving." She whirled around, rushing to grab her jacket and the files that lay abandoned in his kitchen.

"Carter." she stuffed her arms into her jacket, needing to escape. She didn't know how to process this and fleeing was the best option right now. She flicked her long hair out from underneath the jacket, turning to look at him. He was climbing out of bed.

"No, don't get up on my account, John. I can see myself out." she snatched her files up so quickly they spilled onto the floor, papers flying everywhere. Perfect, there went her great escape. She exhaled blowing her bangs up as she squatted down to pick the papers up. She felt his hand brush against hers, stopping her. She lifted her gaze off the fallen papers to his blue gaze.

"Carter, take a breath."

"John, you're my friend. I don't make many friends, I don't know how to trust anyone anymore. But I trust and respect you." She licked her lips, feeling his mouth still on hers. "I can't lose you." Her eyes plead with him to understand.

"I know." Of course he knew. He had the same trust issues as she did. She knew he trusted her and respected her just the same. They were hardened soldiers, both of them, and it was why they got along so well. She couldn't risk losing that or losing him.

"That kiss never happened, John."

"Agreed." She nodded and they both averted their eyes from one another as they picked up all the pieces of paper that had fallen onto the floor. John handed her a small pile of them and she smiled gratefully. Joss stood up as he did and he let out a vicious sneeze.

"It won't get in the way of us being…friends, right?" She asked hating how insecure she felt right now. He looked at her and smiled.

"Why should it, since it never happened?" She smiled up at him, they understood each other.

"Thanks." She clutched the paperwork to her chest in like a bear hug. "John, eat all that soup I brought you!" she admonished as she backed up towards his front door while he followed slowly nodding his head.

"Yes ma'am, I won't hear the end of it if I don't."

"Nope. Someone has to make sure you take care of yourself." he nodded his head when she opened the door. "Uh, see you whenever you need help on a new person?"

"Yes, see you then, Carter."

"Bye." she turned and walked away. When she reached the stairs she took them two at a time. John watched as Carter flew as fast as she could to get away from him as he quietly shut his door. Not that he blamed her, he had no explanation as to why he had just grabbed her and kissed her.

"Damn it." John sighed as he sat down on the edge of his bed. That had been the worst mistake he had ever made. Sure she griped about his plan of just going into the warehouse and sure, she griped about his plan of jumping out of the window. But this by far, kissing Joss, was his worst idea ever! Carter was a friend of his, someone he relied on and trusted; he didn't have many people he could say that about. Just her, Finch, and even Lionel, but that was it. That kiss was a mistake that he instantly regretted the moment they broke apart. And she had a look of pure horror on her face that probably mirrored his own. What had he been thinking? He wasn't sure.

What he did know was that he didn't want to lose Joss over this. She clearly was taken aback by it, as he was. He reared back, lying on his back on the bed. He stared at the ceiling as if it would answer the questions running through his mind right now. John coughed a little as he rolled out of bed when his phone rang. Finch had promised to call him if they got a new number; he wondered if that was the case. He picked up his cell phone and answered it quickly, glad for a distraction.

"Hey Finch." He sneezed violently again. Damn it, he really needed that medicine Joss brought. He hated medicine, but he needed to not be knocked out by this on-setting cold.

"You're not feeling any better are you, Mr. Reese?"

"Not really." To be honest he was feeling worse. But he wasn't going to tell him that. "But you got a new number haven't you, Finch?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there." He sighed while yanking open his closet to find a pair of dress pants. "Whose the new number?" he asked after he sneezed.

"Mary Caldwell, she's thirty-four years old, never married." John sighed, zipping his pants trying to stop the sneeze that wanted to make its way out.

"What does she do for a living?"

"Well, she's a personal trainer." John blinked as he grabbed a dress shirt. He had heard correctly, right?

"A personal trainer?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese."

"Who would want to kill a personal trainer?" John sneezed as he began buttoning his shirt up.

"Maybe no one, she could be the threat."

"Who would a personal trainer want to kill? Is she seeing anyone?"

"As far as I can tell with her digital footprint, no." Well there went that theory of being harmed by a boyfriend.

"I'm on my way." John looked around for his gun, not remembering exactly where he had placed it. He tried to clear his throat when it felt scratchy.

"When you arrive Mr. Reese I'll have a hot cup of tea for you, it should soothe your throat." John scoured his loft finally finding his gun. Damn where had his head been at last night and this morning? John coughed as he hung up with Finch. He needed to find his earpiece too; it made making and answering calls much easier,especially when he was called in the most inopportune time. John took two of the pills Joss brought him before tugging his jacket on. He longed to stay in bed, but duty called. He, for one, was happy since it was a distraction from thinking too much about Joss and the kiss that should never have happened.

* * *

Author's note: So, this story is part 1 of a possibly trilogy I do not know if it will be a trilogy or just this story and a sequel. Haven't thought that far in advance :D Well actually its all up to you guys if you like the story I'll begin writing the sequel, if you hate this story I won't lol. This story is finished completely my proofreader is checking over all of them and she has sent me back chapters 1-3 already so the updates for this will be quick-ish lol. Oh, and if this title for this story sucks that because literally I couldn't think of an appropriate title for this story. Literally my mind stalled, and I sat there staring blankly at my screen. Guh titles, and summaries are my downfall I swear!

Thanks for reading, and I am anxiously waiting to hear if you like this story or not...


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my, Mr. Reese, you don't look so good." John eyed his friend and boss as he entered the library, sneezing. His eyes hurt badly, he couldn't stop sneezing, and his throat felt like it was on fire. John paused to pat Bear on the head, cinching his suit around him tighter, feeling cold.

"You know you are the second one to compliment me today about my appearance." He shook his head no to the steaming hot tea Finch held out to him.

"Drink it Mr. Reese it will help."

"I don't drink tea, coffee's better."

"Maybe, later." John sighed as he walked towards the double sided glass board they used to tape their photos up on. "This is Mary Caldwell?" The woman had long raven colored hair and an olive complexion. "Better looking then our last numbers."

"Yes the ones that shot at you and Detective Carter." John flinched slightly when he mentioned Carter. He had been doing his best at putting her out of his mind.

"So, have you figured out anything more about her?"

"No, not as of yet, Mr. Reese."

"I'll go get eyes on her." John coughed as he finished his coffee. "She's at Ever Fitness right now?" Finch nodded his head.

"Mr. Reese, are you sure you are up for this? I could seek the assistance of Detectives Fusco and Carter until you are feeling a little better."

"No." He sneezed. "I'm fine Finch." He was tired of having to assure everyone he was fine. "If we need Carter or Lionel's help we'll call, but not because of me." He walked towards the way he entered.

"I'll call Detective Carter and have her run a check on Mary Caldwell for us." John nodded, glad he didn't have to talk to her just yet. He'd rather give them both some space and time between them before they talked again. Maybe by that time the incident would be buried so neither one of them ever remembered it. He shook his head, knowing that he'd never forget nor did he want to; but he was equally sure that Carter didn't share his feelings. Although she had kissed him back which left him slightly confused. If she didn't share his feelings as he figured, why had she returned his kiss?

John climbed into his car and let out a hearty sneeze, when his phone rang. It was Lionel. He clicked the button on his earpiece before he pulled away from the curb.

"Yes, Lionel?"

"You sound horrible, you know that?"

"Wow, with all these compliments I've been getting all morning I'll have a big head by the end of today. But I'm sure that's not why you called."

"Yeah, whatever you say, I called you for some help." What else was new? John drove towards Ever Fitness trying to clear his throat when it felt like a frog leapt in it.

"What do you need Lionel?"

"Its about HR."

"What about them?" Lionel now had John's attention.

"I may have forced paired up with Simmons' phone and learned that there is something huge going down soon."

"Did you by chance hear who he was talking too?"

"No, Simmons was talking to the head boss, but he never mentioned him by name."

"Okay, did they say anything particular about whatever was going to go down?" John asked as he pulled up into the parking lot of Ever Fitness.

"Not really, but whatever it is they are they doing, they stand to gain millions of dollars which would reestablish HR's power. Then all that work we did to bring them down was for nothing. I don't know how you and our guy with the glasses do your thing, but we need your voodoo work to prevent this from happening." John nodded, pulling his binoculars out to eye the Ever Fitness to find Mary Caldwell.

"I'll see what I can find out." He hung up with Lionel. Great, just what they needed was HR to reestablish their power and influence. "Did you hear what Lionel found out, Harold?"

"Yes, I'm always listening, but what could HR possibly be planning to cash in on that big of a payday?"

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it doesn't sound good. They go to whoever is willing to pay the highest dollar for their services. The target could be anyone."

"I'll dig into Simmons and see if I can find out anything more that would be of use for us to find out who he is working for. Have you gotten eyes on Ms. Caldwell?"

"Not yet, Finch." He climbed out of his car. "I think I'm going to be getting a gym membership." He walked purposely towards Ever Fitness, taking note that everyone that was entering was dressed much like he was, in suits and expensive looking clothes. Ever Fitness catered to the wealthy, business class. "Finch, is this gym exclusive?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese you'll need to use your cover of 'John Rooney' to receive membership."

"Do you workout here, Finch?" he teased. He opened the door for himself and for a young woman that was wearing a tight black pantsuit. She smiled in appreciation as she rushed ahead of him. John entered and walked across the marble floor. A woman in her mid thirties stood behind the high rise desk.

"May I help you sir?" John watched as the woman he had held the door for flashed a membership badge before rushing by down the long corridor.

"My name is John Rooney and I am looking to get a membership." he pulled out his license.

"Right this way, Mr. Rooney." The young woman looked over his license before escorting him to a closed door just before the desk. She knocked once and was told to come in. John was ushered in; the door shut before the chair turned around and he came face to face with a middle aged woman. She was a petite woman that stood no taller than a meager five foot two inches and weighed no more than a hundred pounds. She had long honey colored hair and wide blue eyes.

"Well hello I'm Kimberly Keston, I run Ever Fitness."

"John Rooney." He smiled as she stood up to hold out her hand for him to shake.

"This gym is all exclusive which means we don't just let anyone and everyone in." John sneezed, which was good, because he needed something to hide the roll of his eyes knowing what exclusive meant.

"Excuse me, I think I'm coming down with something." She waved a hand at him as she sat down motioning for him to do so as well.

"Mr. Rooney, if your credit and background checks comes back accordingly, you'll be working out at Ever Fitness very soon." He tried to hide his shock over a credit and a background check that was needed to get inside.

"I look forward to it."

"Yes, as will our young female staff." She smiled at him. "Ever Fitness offers a wide range of classes and workout routines for any time of the day or night."

"So you're open twenty four hours then?"

"Yes, we know that a lot of our members work long hours which leave them not a lot of daytime to workout. Ever Fitness tries its hardest to accommodate our members, new and old."

"When I get in, I will be looking for a personal trainer."

"Yes, we have several personal trainers that are available at Ever Fitness. I'll gladly tell you about each of them once I know you're accepted. Then you can make your own choice." John nodded.

"Do you have a basketball court?"

"Yes, our facility is one of the largest in the state of New York. We also have tennis courts indoor and outdoor, as well as an indoor and outdoor pool. Our workout equipment is updated every year so you will always have the latest and greatest machines to workout on." She smiled as she leaned back into her large brown leather desk chair. "Now Mr. Rooney, may I ask you some questions?"

"Sure, ask anything you'd like."

"Mr. Rooney, what is your occupation?"

"I'm an assets manager."

"Funny you honestly don't look like any assets manager I've ever seen." John looked into her kind blue eyes.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He smiled as he leaned back feeling like he was on some sort of interview just to get in.

He heard a voice in his ear. "Mr. Reese, I'm still here so if you need any help on a question I will provide you with assistance." John felt himself relax, glad Finch was still listening in. He wasn't a Wallstreet type of guy.

"You should since most men that frequent here that have similar jobs as you don't look at all like you do." John shifted a little uncomfortable but he hid his uneasiness. "When's your birthday?" she asked after scribbling his occupation down.

"September 26, 1968."

"I need your address." John sighed, this was going to be a long morning and he already had a headache that he just knew was about to get worse.

* * *

Carter, sat staring at her paperwork without actually working on it. They were the same files she had taken to John's place. She had planned on working on them there so she could make sure he was taking care of himself, but the plans changed swiftly. That kiss still left her reeling. She didn't know why she was still thinking about it, but she was. Finch had called earlier to ask for her assistance in finding out anything that she could on Mary Caldwell. She half wondered why John hadn't made the call himself, and the other half was grateful. She needed time to put the kiss behind her, but that wasn't going to be as easy as she had once thought! John's mouth was imprinted on hers and the memory of how wonderful it had been was still very fresh on her mind.

Joss abandoned her paperwork, foregoing it to work on the person they needed help with. She typed in the woman's name into the database to see if she got any hits on the young woman.

"Hey, Joss." she looked up from her computer to see Beecher, who she had been casually dating for the past month, walking towards her. Joss usually got butterflies when he appeared but today there were none.

"Hey, Beecher," she forced a smile on her face silently hating John for making her uneasy around Beecher right now. John's kiss confused her and she hated being confused. "What's up?"

"I was hoping to find out if you're up for lunch?" Joss eyed the paperwork and the computer, knowing all of this could easily be put on hold till after lunch break.

"I'm sorry Cal, you should've called me first. I'm swamped with paperwork that I might need to work through lunch today to finish it all." She felt horrible for lying to him but she needed space right now. She needed to figure some things out by herself.

"No, its okay, Joss. At least I got to spend a little time with you." he grinned. "I guess I'll see you tonight then."

"Tonight?" she frowned. What was he talking about?

"Don't tell me you forgot about our date tonight?" Crap! She had forgotten all about their date tonight.

She forced a smile on her face. "I'm sorry Cal, I've had a lot on my mind recently," which wasn't that far off the truth. She had to deal with Donnelly and his hot pursuit of the man in the suit, her own cases, as well as the cases she helped Finch and John out on, and the man himself, John Reese. John's kiss evoked unknown feelings in her for him which she would very much rather had been left dormant.

"So its still on, right?"

"Yes of course, Cal." she wasnt going to let that hot and passionate kiss between her and John get in the way of her budding relationship with Cal. John and her both agreed to pretend it never happened. Cal was everything she wanted in a guy anyway, he was safe. She didn't want surprises and she sure the hell didn't want a man that offered any sort of danger to her heart! Joss forced herself out of her thoughts to gaze up at Cal's dark eyes. He was smiling at her.

"Well, I'll see you later tonight, Joss." She watched as he turned from her desk and walked away. She put her hands on her forehead feeling a headache coming on. She lowered her hands, deciding to get back to work, rolling her head across her shoulders to release some of the tension inside her. She leaned forward as she looked at her computer. Well, that's interesting. Joss clicked on the link and read through the information. She dialed Finch's number and waited one ring before he answered.

"Hello, detective do you have something?"

"Yes, I looked up Mary Caldwell in the system and your girl has a record."

"A record?"

"Yes, she spent two years in the state prison for vehicular manslaughter, she got out with good behavior. She killed a ten year old boy and a thirty-two year old woman because she crossed into their lane. She was texting, she was the only survivor of the accident."

"Oh my, do you have the names of the deceased? Maybe the threat to Ms. Caldwell is someone wanting to exact revenge, quite possibly the widowed husband?"

"Sure, the record says that the woman and son were identified by the husband, his name is Dale Erikson."

"Thank you detective."

"Anything else?"

"No, not as of yet but there might be something coming up with HR that we need your assistance on." Her head raised at that.

"HR? Name a time and place and I'll be there. I want to bring them down all the way this time."

"Thanks Detective Carter for your help." She smiled before hanging up with Finch. Joss held her cell in her hand, wondering if she should call John to see how he was feeling or to leave him be. She hovered and her curiosity to make sure he was alright won out. She dialed his number quickly before standing up to go into the corner of the station to make sure no prying ears could overhear her. He answered after two rings.

"Hey Carter." his voice sounded rough.

"How you feeling?"

"Better." she sighed.

"Try again, John, and this time tell me the real answer."

"I feel about the same as earlier, Carter. I'll be alright."

"Finch called with a new person named Mary Caldwell, so I'm assuming you are not at your place are you?"

"No."

"John, you need rest to get better."

"I'll be fine, don't worry so much. Have a nice night out with Beecher." Her back stiffened at the mention of Beecher.

"You were listening in on my conversation?"

"Well no, Finch was." That didn't make her feel any better. Now John knew she was going out on a date with Beecher tonight. But why did it matter what he thought anyway? "Finch said if I needed help I'd have to ask Lionel because you were going to be unavailable to us tonight."

"Right."

"Have a nice night Carter."

"Thanks, you too." she cringed when she awkwardly hung up with him. So much for not allowing the kiss to meddle with their friendship, she'd been slightly sweating the entire time she spoke with him. She licked her lips as a flash of this morning with John's mouth on hers flickered through her mind again. No, she wasn't going to let that-that mistake ruin what she had with John. He was her friend and nothing more. They respected, cared, and trusted one another, and that kiss probably was just from him being sick. He wasn't thinking clearly. Yeah, that was it. He was sick and he probably was a little out of it and had kissed her without thinking. John Reese didn't want her anymore than she wanted him. For the first time since this morning she felt relaxed. Now, it was time to finish up on her paperwork for her own cases and put that damned kiss with John out of her mind for good!

* * *

Author's note: ICK, Beecher it hurt me to write him in this story because I disliked his character immensely but I'm trying to be nice to his character, but its hard I won't lie. But *sobs* he will make another appearance in this story. HR is in this story slightly not too sure if they will be in the sequel more since I only begun writing the sequel to this story.

I have come to the realization that POI is a new form of an addiction, I need to read, write, and watch reruns of this show constantly. Its like if I don't get a fix of the show in some form, I go through withdrawal, like right now I need to go write out this fluffy little one shot I have an idea for. Poor Joss and John they are about to be squished together again they are like our own adult Barbie and Ken dolls :D

Thanks to everyone for the kind words, and for reading this story, its going to get angsty, drama filled, actiony, and then angsty again maybe in that order :)


	3. Chapter 3

John sat in his car, having finally gotten eyes and ears on Mary Caldwell. He had slowly followed her from Ever Fitness back to her expensive condo. John kept his binoculars on her as she hurried inside it.

"How does a woman with a criminal record become a personal trainer at a very exclusive gym, Finch?"

"That's a good question Mr. Reese, one I am looking for an answer to as we speak."

"How?"

"I just hacked into Ever Fitness's employee records and am searching for her record right now." John nodded keeping sight on her as she entered her bedroom. He quickly lowered the binoculars when she yanked her shirt over her head.

"Anything yet Finch?" he looked away to give the woman privacy.

"I'll say. Ever Fitness does extensive interviews into their clientele but not so much for their employees. She lied on the application, Mr. Reese."

"But that doesn't make any sense. Kimberly Keston would have done an extensive background check on Ms. Caldwell, her lie would have been found out."

"Maybe they did do a background check Mr. Reese, and someone covered it up."

"Who?"

"Maybe Ms. Keston knows Ms. Caldwell and helped her get a job?"

"Maybe, but would Ms. Keston be willing to risk her cushy little job for Ms. Caldwell? Ms. Keston seemed to play by the book. It could be anyone in management that could have hidden the fact that she was a felon to get Ms. Caldwell a job."

"True, Ms. Keston was quite extensive in her questions with you, Mr. Reese, though I'm sure it was for a far more personal use."

"Excuse me?" John tried to clear his throat for the umpteenth time.

"Mr. Reese, why else would she have needed to know if you had a wife or girlfriend? And why else did she feel the need to give you her home phone and personal cell phone numbers if you had any additional questions?" John had just assumed it was routine. John wasn't feeling well enough to even argue with Finch.

"Well, what if whoever did the background check didn't lie for her to help her, but did it to get a little money out of her?" John asked drinking a little water as he put his binoculars back to his eyes, watching her condo again.

"Like blackmail Mr. Reese?"

"Yeah, she did lie on the application; if Ever Fitness found out she'd be terminated immediately. There aren't many jobs like the one Ms. Caldwell found that felons can get. Maybe whoever manages the background checks is hiding it to make a payday for him or herself."

"Which could mean Ms. Caldwell is the perpetrator rather than the victim. The information Detective Carter got for us doesn't really pertain to Ms. Caldwell's current predicament."

"Why?"

"Because Dale Erikson is happily remarried, and with a newborn child. I say the man has moved on from the death of his son and wife." John watched as the young woman exited the condo once more wearing a dress and had her hair down. She was climbing back into her pricey car and sped off. John followed at a safe distance and watched as she pulled up to a fancy Italian restaurant. "She's going to some sort of fancy restaurant Finch. Luigi's Italian restaurant."

"I'll say! Luigi's has the finest pasta in the state of New York."

"You've been here?"

"Sometimes." came the reluctant reply.

"And you never invited your favorite hitman? I'm sort of hurt now, Finch." John teased as he sneezed again and again back to back.

"Mr. Reese, you sound worse than prior."

"That's because I feel worse than prior." His medicine must have worn off now. He sure the hell did hate catching colds. "Finch, she doesn't have her phone on and I lost sight of her."

"Have a nice dinner Mr. Reese."

"Thanks Finch." he grinned as he exited his car crossing the street. John walked to the door and stopped when Ms. Keston appeared.

"Well hello John, what a small world?!" she smiled.

"Hello Ms. Keston."

"Please its Kim remember."

"Yes, I remember, sorry." he opened the door for her and she smiled as she entered. "Have you ever been here?" he asked being polite.

"Many times, you haven't?"

"No, But it comes highly reommnded."

"Oh, its has wonderful Italian food. Are you meeting with anyone?"

"No, just was going to enjoy a quiet meal."

"Me too." John smiled as they walked towards the hostess.

"Table for two?" the girl asked pulling out menus.

"Just for one." John smiled at the young woman. She nodded her head and he turned to look at Ms. Keston. "It was nice seeing you again Ms. Keston."

"Kim." she corrected. "And likewise John, and I'm hoping we'll be crossing paths soon." John nodded his head, remaining polite before he walked away, following the hostess to his table. He sat down and picked up his menu looking around searching for Mary Caldwell. John nearly dropped his menu onto the floor when his eyes landed on Joss who was sitting across the room from him on her date with Beecher. He diverted his eyes, looking around the room for Caldwell.

"Finch, I can't find her." he said quietly as his eyes strayed back to Carter. She was wearing a black formfitting dress. She looked so very different from how she usually looked. She was beautiful in her pantsuits, but in that dress she was breathtaking. He looked back down at his menu.

"Mr. Reese." Finch sounded unsettled.

"What's wrong, Finch?" he asked looking through the menu.

"I hacked back into Ever Fitness's computers to see all the members of the gym, and ninety five percent of the members are male." A thought occurred to him about Ever Fitness, though they needed help finding out if his hunch was correct or not.

"Finch can you just look to see if there happens to be any men employed by Ever Fitness?" it took a few moments for Finch to do as he asked.

"No, not a single man works there."

"Finch, I think Ever Fitness is a front for a prostitution ring." he sighed.

"Oh dear, now it makes sense as to why your application was approved minutes after you left Mr. Reese."

"No credit or background check on John Rooney?"

"No, none that I can see. Though there are a few female members of the gym though its mainly men."

"They let select women in to make it appear like a legitimate gym and not like a prostitution ring, it throws the cops off. They only allow so many, and they use the guise of being exclusive to keep out the other women. They let as many men in as they want too because they want to pull in more money." John sighed feeling his dull headache turning into a migraine. John looked up seeing the waitress walking over.

"We need Carter and Fusco to run the names of all the other employees that work at Ever Fitness to see if all of them are criminals." His eyes strayed back to Carter, and her eyes were on him looking startled. He averted his eyes and forced a smile at the waitress.

"Are you ready to order sir?"

"I'm sorry, I have to leave. Business calls I apologize." he stood up placing the menu down and walking purposely towards the exit. John sighed when he saw Carter hurrying towards him.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Working a case."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah Mary Caldwell entered here and I can't find her." he looked around the other side of the restaurant. His eyes widened when he found Mary sitting with Kimberly Keston. John grabbed Joss's arm, pulling her aside so that Ms. Keston wouldn't see him.

"John you look bad." Joss whispered reaching out to touch his face. Her eyes widened with concern. "You're burning up."

"I'm fine." he snapped.

"No you're not John. You're sick and you need to rest."

"Carter, look, I don't have time to rest or be sick. I need to work this case and things seem like they are getting weirder and weirder."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing you need to worry abou, go back and enjoy your date with Beecher," he assured her. He stared down at her trying to will away the kiss they shared that echoed through his mind. Carter was on a date with a guy she cared a lot about. He didn't want to think about how beautiful she appeared, he wished he could go back to how he viewed her before the kiss happened. As just a friend whom he didn't see the womanly curves or her beauty. He longed for the days before this morning because now all he saw was the woman Joss Carter rather than just Detective Carter.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't when you are so sick and need help, John." John looked up and saw Ms. Keston having spotted him. She was walking towards him.

"Mr. Rooney, please you must join myself, and Ms. Caldwell."

"Oh I was just heading home I don't feel so well."

"Who are you?" Carter looked away from him and towards the middle aged woman that asked the question and held out her hand.

"I'm a friend of Mr. Rooney's. I just saw he wasn't feeling all that well and wished him to feel better. I better get back to my date before he thinks I left. Hope you feel better, John." She touched his arm and waved to Ms. Keston before she walked back toward her table.

"Oh I do hope you feel better, Mr. Rooney, and I'm hoping to have good news to tell you as early as tomorrow that you are apart of Ever Fitness."

"Thanks, me too. Have a nice night Ms. Keston." John smiled a little, already knowing the answer to that.

"You too Mr. Rooney and feel better soon." he nodded exiting the restaurant. "Finch, Ms. Caldwell is with Ms. Keston right now. I think I'll have better visual on her from the outside." he sneezed as he hurried towards his car once more.

"Mr. Reese, Ms. Keston and Ms. Caldwell are having dinner together?"

"I would say so. Its too coincidental that both women show up at the same restaurant to eat alone. If Ever Fitness is a front for a prostitution ring it still doesn't clear up if Ms. Caldwell is a victim or perpetrator. We need to find out more I have to get close to Ms. Caldwell to speak with her."

"Why was Detective Carter there?"

"She's on her date with Detective Beecher." John said trying to ignore a growing feeling in the pit of his stomach. If he analyzed the feeling closer he would say he felt jealousy, but he wasn't in the mood to analyze his emotions. He was just going to bury them and pretend they didn't exist.

* * *

Joss walked to her apartment with Cal following behind her. She was glad chivalry wasn't dead with him offering to walk her up. After seeing John at Luigi's, her date crashed and burned. She kept staring off at him the little while he had sat at the table alone and she had longed to go eat with him. She felt frustrated with herself having felt like that at all. It wasn't her problem he was sitting there alone and she had worried for nothing. John had been only there working a case even though he appeared very ill. Though Joss had been shocked to the core at seeing him in Luigi's. Her mind had immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion that he followed her there, but then she quickly talked herself out of it. John wouldn't have followed her there, he thought the kiss was a mistake as much as she did! Didn't he? A niggling thought worked its way into her brain.

"You okay Joss?"

"Huh, what?"

"Are you alright? It seems like you were distracted tonight."

"I was a little bit. I'm sorry Cal."

"No, its alright, Joss. I was hoping you'd invite me inside." he said with a smile as he eyed her. Joss grabbed out her keys and began unlocking the door.

"Oh yeah, you were hoping huh."

"Yeah, a guy can hope can't he?"

"He sure can."

"Joss I really like you a lot, and I was hoping to meet Taylor sometime." Joss unlocked the door and turned to look at him.

"You would?"

"Yeah, I would."

"I need to talk to him about it. He knows I've been seeing someone, but I need to sit him down and talk to him more about it."

"Whenever you're ready Joss. I don't want to make you feel pressured or anything."

"Thanks Cal, and I'm sorry I'm just not ready to invite you in-yet." she smiled.

"You're worth the time, Joss." she smiled as she leaned against her closed door.

"Goodnight, Cal."

"Goodnight, Joss." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Joss stood still waiting for that same fire she felt when John kissed her this morning to appear. Here was the man she was dating kissing her, and NOTHING. No fire, not even a flicker of a spark. Joss felt desperate as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him almost desperately. Cal moaned and Joss waited for him to deepen the kiss, hoping the sparks would ignite. She didn't have to wait long for him to deepen the kiss, but she waited and waited for the sparks. Joss pushed out of the kiss in agony when she felt absolutely no spark at all.

"I had a nice time." Joss kept her eyes on the floor, hoping he wouldn't see the worry on her face.

"Me too, and I'll call you soon, Joss." With that she turned and fled to the safety of her apartment. She shut the door on Cal, locking it, and leaned her forehead against the door as she heard his footsteps moving away become quieter and quieter as he left. She squeezed her eyes shut and smacked the door in angry frustration before pushing away from it to throw her purse onto the nearby couch as well as her coat. What the hell was the matter with her?! That wasn't their first kiss, the first one had been on their second date. The first one was just a quick chaste kiss nothing to write home about. But this one was their first real honest too goodness kiss and she felt absolutely nothing from it. Nothing, especially when compared to the other kiss, the one from John.

Cal's kiss didn't make her feel hot inside like John's. His lips didn't imprint on hers like John's did and his kiss didn't make her feel enveloped in flames like a certain someone else's. She could still feel the contours of John's mouth on hers, and how soft they were even though it happened early this morning. She tried to think of one thing she hated about John's kiss. _It ended_. She frowned at herself. God, what was the matter with her? She had a great guy in Cal Beecher, she had been attracted to him, so what happened? He was what she wanted in a man, so why didn't Cal's kiss mean a thing to her? One passionate kiss from John shouldn't make her feel so-so twisted in knots. John was an emotional mess with no discernable timeframe of when he would allow himself to move on from his demons. He was unpredictable, he pissed her off, and he was a damn fine kisser.

Joss walked in her kitchen to her refrigerator yanking the door open and grabbed a bottle of beer, eyeing the green lit clock on her stove echoing it was only nine at night. She and Cal had met up at seven thirty which meant their date lasted all of an hour and a half. She snapped the top to the beer bottle off taking a healthy swig of it while cursing John's name for the destruction of her date tonight. It was his fault why she hadn't enjoyed herself and why she had insisted she wanted to end the date early. It was his fault being at Luigi's tonight. She had been letting go of that damned kiss, but her eyes strayed and she saw him sitting there and it all flew out the window. She couldn't stop looking at him, she couldn't stop thinking about his kiss and hoping it would happen again. Joss leaned her forearms against her kitchen island hanging her head. Damn it this couldn't be happening to her! But it was. And she couldn't ignore it any longer. She was attracted to John Reese and had no idea what to do about it.

* * *

Author's note: my hands nearly fell off from typing that kiss between Beecher and Joss. I think I wanted to vomit writing it out, *shudders* but it served its purpose. Next chapter our lovely little peeps actually have a conversation, *cough* argument *cough*, that may or may not push these two closer towards one another ;P

Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing, you guys kick some serious butt and I adore you guys :D


	4. Chapter 4

Joss had a restless night last night. It had been long and trying. John Reese not only single handedly demolished her date with Cal, he stole her sleep. She tapped her pen against the paperwork with her head tilted up trying to figure out the best way to proceed with the mess she called a life. She was so confused as to what to do. Pretend she wasn't attracted to John, acting like nothing was different, or tell the man and to hell with the consequences? Ugh, neither option sounded viable at this moment. Cal was the more secure choice, he was predictable and dependable. _Much like a dog, _her mind scoffed and she mentally chided herself for having such a thought. John was a loose cannon and not at all a good choice to have a healthy relationship with, but she respected him and cared a lot about him. He made her feel all consumed with passion which scared her shitless. John could destroy her perfectly ordered life that she worked so hard at building for herself and Taylor. Did she want to risk that? Did she want to place her heart on the line for that all consuming passion? She never in her life had felt that amount of need in her, or for her before. So what did it mean?

"Yo, Carter." she heard a whistle which effectively brought her mind back to police work instead of her miserable social life.

"What, Fusco?"

"I've been calling you for like five minutes, something on your mind?"

"Yeah but nothing I want to talk about." Fusco, wouldn't be much help. He didn't trust or like Cal, and he would probably laugh if he heard she was attracted to John.

"Fair enough, but our guy with the glasses has a mission for us."

"What?"

"I guess wonder boy has a hunch on their most recent case that they need our help to check out."

"What is it?" Fusco walked over to her, carrying several pieces of paper stapled together with him.

"Einstein sent us a long, very long list of names to run for him. Alphabetical order too, so Carter, would you like A through M, or N through Z?" he handed her the papers and she eyed them, her eyes widened.

"That's a lot of names for both lists."

"I know." he snatched one stapled list out of her hand and eyed it. "Oh look at that, I get N through Z, my lucky day," he groused as he walked back towards his desk, sitting down irritably. "They do realize we have actual police work to do, right?" Joss smiled as she leaned forward.

"Did Finch by chance mention why John wants us to run all these names through our database?"

"I guess Mr. Happy thinks that all the employees at this certain exclusive gym are felons." Joss nodded her head slightly. Even if they were, what would it mean?

"Did he mention how John is feeling?"

"Don't know and more importantly don't care, maybe if Mr. Happy is sick he won't be such a pain in our keesters." she nodded pulling her cell out as she logged in on her computer, dialing Finch's number, needing to know all the details from the man himself.

"Hello Detective Carter."

"Hey Finch, what's this about John's theory?"

"He believes that Ever Fitness is a front for a prostitution ring and he wonders if the women that work there are all felons."

"We're on it."

"Thank you detective; call me when you have something."

"Hold on Finch, how's John feeling?"

"He's not feeling at all well, detective. In fact, I think he's worse than yesterday." That was what she was worried about. Maybe Fusco was going to get his wish about John being too sick to be a pain in the ass.

"I'll run through the names on the list I have and then I'll go check on him."

"If you could, leave Detective Fusco the list and go check on him now. Mr. Reese hasn't answered my phone calls and hasn't appeared yet. I would go check on him, but I am keeping watch on Ms. Caldwell to give him a chance to rest."

"I'm on it." It wasnt like John to go home to rest and leave Finch in the field. He wouldn't want Finch harmed in any way. Which meant that man had to be deathly ill!

"Don't you need his address, detective?"

"No, he gave me it yesterday when I went to check on him for the same reason."

"Oh I didn't realize..." She heard his slight pause, but she ignored it. It wasn't her fault that John didn't fill him in on her impromptu visit which lead to a very disturbing happening-a kiss.

"Its okay, I'm on my way." Joss hung up with Finch, quickly logging off her computer. "Sorry Fusco, I have to leave you with the long laundry list of names to go through, but I have something else to go do."

"Oh gee-thanks Carter. What is four eyes having you do?"

"Go check on John."

"Better you than me. Give my worst to our bane of our existence!" Joss grabbed her jacket and rushed out of the station. She was worried about John if he hadn't answered any of Finch's calls and was a no show, that wasn't like him. It took ten minutes to get to John's place which normally took twenty, but she sped and ran lights to get there quickly. She banged with her palm on his door.

"John open up!" she called out and banged harder when she didn't hear footsteps. "JOHN OPEN UP!" She heard a sneeze on the other side of the door and finally heavy footsteps before the door opened.

"Hey Carter." his voice was raspy. He looked like he had been in the process of getting dressed but had taken a detour to his bed. His shirt was wrinkled and his hair looked unkempt like he hadn't combed it yet. Joss hated the spike of heat inside her as she gazed at the rumpled look he was sporting. So she ignored it and reached up to lay a hand on his forehead.

"Its warm, but better than last night. You take medicine?" she barked at him as she walked around him seeing the pill cap to the medicine she got him laying on the countertop of his kitchen island. Good, he was taking medicine at least, she looked him over searching for any signs of a deathly cold. But instead he appeared to look a little healthier, what a lucky bastard; whenever she caught a cold she felt lousy for over a week!

"Yes, nurse Carter." He shot her a small lopsided grin. "I'm feeling better, I just overslept."

"Finch claims you are worse than yesterday."

"That's because Finch worries too much. I'm actually feeling a little better, thanks to the medicine you got me, and the tea Finch forced down my throat. It does really soothe the throat, I'll admit."

"Good." she nodded feeling a sense of déjà vu all of a sudden. Here they were, much like yesterday morning. She had come over checked on him, got angry with him, and then he kissed her. Joss's eyes fell to his mouth when he looked down at his wrinkled shirt with disgust.

"Are you alright though, Carter? You seem tired." His eyes flicked back up and she immediately looked away from his mouth.

"I am tired because I didn't sleep much."

"Something happened?"

"You could say that." Her tone got hostile even though she didn't mean for it to. It wasn't all his fault as to what happened last night between her and Cal

"What happened?" he asked walking past her unbuttoning his shirt before peeling it off his body leaving him in a white t-shirt and his dress pants. He yanked out another white dress shirt from within his closet, one that wasn't wrinkled. He eyed her as he shrugged it on.

"Beecher kissed me last night." She said watching his face for any sign that he cared. John turned away from her, leaving her disgusted with herself for just blurting that out in hopes to get a reaction out of him.

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah." She forced herself to sound happy. "It is, I'm thinking of having him meet my son." Well it had been something she had contemplated before the kiss that happened between her and John. Now she didn't know if she wanted her kid to meet Cal or not, especially if things weren't going to work with them. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to give up on Cal so quickly, maybe it was her as the reason why she felt no sparks when Cal kissed her. Maybe she was so busy comparing the two men's kisses, Cal's naturally didn't result in the same fire as John's and so she felt empty inside. Maybe she needed to lower her expectations. She was attracted to John, but it didn't mean she couldn't be attracted to Cal too. Damn, the more she thought about these two men, the more her head hurt from trying to figure out what she felt.

"Good, you deserve to be happy." he turned to look back at her and his face was emotionless. Joss felt all the breath leave her body, she had wanted him to say anything other than that. She pasted on a smile to hide the fact that, she had been hoping he'd say he wanted her to stop dating Cal. It had been stupid but yet she felt disappointed it hadn't happened. What did she expect? John, wasn't going to just decide all of a sudden he wanted her, he was her friend! But he kissed her, passionately and lovingly, that had to mean something, right?

"I am," she lied. "How about you, John?"

"What about me?"

"I want you happy too. Have you thought about our conversation, about moving on?" For some reason his answer was imperative on how she proceeded with her own life. If John was ready to move on from Jessica maybe they had a shot together. But she couldn't throw caution to the wind for John if he couldn't get past the death of his old love. It would hurt too much for when it inevitably ended because she would feel second best to a ghost, and she'd surely lose John as a friend.

"Yes, I've thought about our conversation."

"And?" Why did it feel like she was holding her breath as she waited for his answer?

"Carter, I'm a wanted man by the FBI, CIA, and several other task forces out in other countries as well as this one. I have enemies all around the globe and supposedly I am dead. Not exactly the best qualities a woman would want in a prospective mate." She shook her head at him, he wasn't understanding her question. John was on the move, walking past her, and she followed behind him.

"That's not what I meant, John. Its not healthy to love a dead woman, you need to move on." She watched as he stiffened, as his steps slowed to a halt but he didn't turn to look at her. "Jessica's dead, John, you're not." She said it slowly, hoping for the words to hit home inside him.

"Don't talk about her." His soft tone belied the sharpness to it. Joss wasn't going to give up that easily. Even if they were destined to remain just friends, she was going to do her damnedest to get him to move on. She didn't care that everyone tip toed over this topic of Jessica, afraid of what John would do or say. Which she was guilty of doing herself, but she was done doing that! She was done coddling him, John buried himself in grief and guilt over her death; well it was high time he clawed his way back out!

"Why? Because it hurts. Well John, let it hurt. Stop hiding away from the pain, you need to grieve for Jessica's death and move on." She nearly jumped when he turned around abruptly, his eyes blazed with anger as he stared at her.

"Get out, Carter." She guessed 'fight or flight' was true, John wanted to flee from this. He didn't want to deal with his grief, well too damn bad!

"No, you're my friend and no one has the guts to say this to you. Well I do. Jessica died, John. As tragic as it was and as horrific as it was, it happened. She died and I'm sorry for that, I really am. I know it hurt you, and it still hurts because you couldn't save her." She watched him flinch as if she struck him. "You feel like you failed her, but you didn't, let the guilt go."

"You don't know how I feel about her or what happened between us, so get out Carter." Joss must of hit an open wound, because he stepped forward trying to intimidate her the moment she mentioned his guilt. Maybe he wasn't holding onto his love for Jessica, more like holding onto his guilt over her death. She was too scared to hope that was the case, she couldn't play second fiddle to a damned ghost. But if it was his guilt he was holding onto, she could help heal that for him, maybe even find a way to be with him. Hope burned inside her even though she tried to squash it immediately.

"I can go, or you could throw me out John, it still doesn't change the fact that you are still holding onto a god damn ghost!" Joss stated as she found herself being circled by him, his eyes angry and predatory, which caused a shot of desire for him through her. She wasn't intimidated instead she was getting turned on, she struggled to ignore it. "You couldn't save her, John! Let go of her," she said fiercely, needing him to hear her.

"You don't know what you're talking about Carter, so I suggest you stop talking right now."

"Oh I don't? You think you're the only one that has ever felt the amount of grief you have? Well newsflash John, you're not. I have had my own share of pain and grief in my life. The only difference is I had someone there for me to support me which is what I'm doing for you. You're my friend, John." Joss reached a hand up to touch his face. He reared back as if she scalded him and it hurt deeply that he didn't want her touch.

"I have to go now Carter, to relieve Finch out of the field," he said quietly without truly looking at her.

"Okay, but promise me John, please, that you will think about what I just said. You told me once I wasn't alone, well neither are you, not anymore. You have me." His eyes lifted from their perusal of the floor and she saw something in them. She wanted to know what it was, but just like that, it vanished.

"Thanks, _friend._" his tone was devoid of any emotion, his words stung her open heart. Right, he viewed her as nothing more than just a friend. Joss hid her emotions as she walked to the door, opening it, and John followed her out. They didn't speak as they walked down the stairs, their shoulders casually bumping. Joss needed to figure out what to do about her increasing feelings for this man since the kiss. She had been blind to these feelings inside her for John prior to the kiss, but now they were getting out of control. When they exited his building he walked to his right while she went to the left, going towards her car. She heard him sneeze only once as she climbed into her car. She watched him move away from her and she slumped against the seat. Joss pulled her cell phone out, needing to talk to Beecher. She dialed his number and he answered after a few rings.

"Hey Joss." she could hear the happiness in his voice.

"Hey Cal I was wondering if you would like to go out again, say tonight?"

"I'd like that."

"Me too, I felt bad for cutting our date short last night and figured to make it up to you with a home cooked meal." That way they'd be alone and she could figure out how she felt about him and how she wanted to proceed. Her explosive, out of control, overwhelming need for John had her shaking. She didn't want to feel this indecision anymore and if she could feel some sort of spark with Cal, she was going to push her feelings for John into a dark corner of her heart, never to see the light of day again.

"That sounds amazing."

"Taylor, is going to be at a friend's house tonight, I'm not ready for you two to meet yet."

"I understand perfectly Joss. I want to meet him when you are ready and not on any one else's timetable." She smiled, trying to feel happy about tonight.

"Great, and thanks for being so wonderful. I'll see you, say seven thirty tonight?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Bye Cal."

"See you later Joss." They hung up and Joss looked up, seeing John was gone. She was going to see if she could ignite a flame similar to the one John engulfed her in, with Cal tonight. If she couldn't, only then would she try to figure out what to do with her feelings for John Reese.

* * *

"Mr. Reese, you look a little better." Finch smiled as John entered the passenger seat of Finch's car parked outside of Mary Caldwell's condo.

"Thanks." John felt better than yesterday, but emotionally he felt out of whack. Joss had left him reeling as she confronted him about Jessica. He had been angry with her because most of her words had rung true. He didn't want to hear them and wished he had thrown her out sooner when she started talking about Beecher. He had wanted to ask Joss to not speak about Beecher in front of him, but if she asked why, he had no reason to tell her. He didn't know why it bugged him that Beecher made her so happy, but it did. They were friends damn it, that kiss meant nothing to either one of them.

_Liar_, his inner voice mocked him. It meant something to him. Though he was going to do his damnedest to bury how he felt about her. It was for the best for everyone involved, and selfishly it was the best for him. He wasn't capable of love anymore. That ability was stripped from him years prior. His destiny was to walk the streets alone, saving one person at a time, and watching from the shadows. After all, once you are the dark you can never go back, and for once, Kara was right.

"Mr. Reese, are you alright?"

"Fine Finch." He tore his gaze off the condo he hadn't even really been looking at, having been lost in his thoughts.

"I see."

"Go back to the library Finch, I'll tail her when she goes to work."

"Alright, oh and by the way, Mr. Rooney was just called this morning to be alerted he was accepted into Ever Fitness."

"Oh joy." He said without an ounce of ethusiam

"Don't sound so thrilled, Mr. Reese. Now you can follow her into the gym without being stopped. Detectives Fusco and Carter are going over the lists we sent them." John felt his brows crash together as he felt stormy inside when Carter was mentioned. "Did something happen between you and Detective Carter when she went to check on you?"

"No." he opened the car door and climbed out. John didn't want to talk or think about Joss right now. He just wanted to concentrate on finding out if Mary Caldwell was the perpetrator or the victim. He walked to his own car, climbing back into the driver's seat. Finch pulled away and immediately called him. "What Finch?"

"Mr. Reese, if I may, you and the detective aren't starting something up are you?"

"She's with Beecher and she's very happy. She's even going to have Taylor meet him." He forced himself to sound cheerful.

"Well that's good."

"Why?"

"Because, what if things ended disastrously between you and the detective? It might sound selfish of me, but she's an asset in our pursuit at saving lives; if something of a falling out happened, I'd be down an asset."

"Don't worry Finch, there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Carter and I are just friends and that's all."

"If you say so, Mr. Reese."

"I do," he said through gritted teeth. He didn't care for Finch butting into his personal affairs. Joss had already done that today and he wasn't about to hear anymore from Finch. He clicked off with Finch, hoping he got the hint to call him when he had some news. Right now John wanted to be alone in his thoughts so he could brood.

* * *

Author's note: how's everyone doing with the angst fest that is this story? But I guess baby steps is needed for John and Joss...both so skittish when it comes to falling in love. And both are pigheaded, stubborn as all hell. Like Joss wanting to try to be with The Joker, and John's well John's turtle pace of healing. I mean the man needed a swift kick in the ass to get moving on and now needs another one and quite possibly another :D

Next chapter, something happens for either John or Joss that may or may not help them move in the right direction towards one another :P Okay I'll stop teasing, but you won't have to wait long for chapter five I promise :)

Thanks for reading/reviewing as always I flove you guys a bunch XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


	5. Chapter 5

John had waited outside Mary Caldwell's condo for the better part of the morning and early afternoon before the woman left to go to work. John waited until the woman entered the gym before he climbed out of his car to open his trunk. He had placed a gym bag filled with workout clothes last night. He pulled the giant dark blue Nike bag out of his trunk before slamming it shut coming face to face with Kimberly Keston. John tried to not show his surprise.

"Ms. Keston."

"Kim." she gave him a cheery smile. "You look like you're feeling better today, John."

"I am feeling better, thanks." he slung the workout bag onto his shoulder. "I was happy to have received your call that I was accepted into Ever Fitness."

"Yes, well I had no doubts." John smiled knowing how true those words were. He wondered if she was going to tell him all about the extra services her gym supplied or let him find out on his own? "Mr. Rooney, there is a matter we do need to discuss, and it needs to remain confidential."

"Sure." He followed the woman into the fitness center. Kim waved at the young woman standing behind the desk, the girl smiled at him. John walked into her office and eyed the chair she motioned for him to take a seat in. He placed his gym bag on the floor and sat down across from her.

"Mr. Rooney, our facility isn't only fitness based."

"No?"

"No, we offer a wide range of additional services, including massages and therapy."

"Sounds wonderful."

"Yes, also my entire staff is females and they are five hundred an hour." She grinned knowingly.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh surely Mr. Rooney you know what I'm talking about."

"An escort service makes this place even better." John smiled, as did Ms. Keston. He needed to keep his cover long enough to speak with Mary Caldwell.

"Yes I'm sure you'll have many of my female staff wishing you'd look their way. I assure you everything will remain confidential, you in no way need to worry about your reputation. Secrecy and discretion is our top priority here as is your pleasure of course."

"Good."

"But it works both ways Mr. Rooney. I must have your discretion and secrecy or I could leak your name to reporters and send photos of you with any one of my escorts. I have cameras everywhere. And I assure you it will in no way get back to Ever Fitness, all record of you would be deleted." she smirked.

"No need to worry Ms. Keston. I do not wish to be in the papers and this additional service intrigues me." He grinned, standing up.

"I'm glad, and Mr. Rooney, one more thing before I allow you to go about and enjoy your new gym."

"Yes, Kim?"

"I don't have sex with any clientele here, I just run my business. But for you I will make an exception and there is no charge." John tried to keep from giving away anything as she stepped towards him.

"I'll keep that in mind Kim." he grabbed his bag before walking towards the door.

"See you soon Mr. Rooney." she grinned at him, as if knowing he couldn't keep his hands off of her.

"Yes, see you soon Kim." He walked out, wishing to go take a shower, feeling dirty somehow.

"Oh my Mr. Reese, that was quite disturbing to listen too. I feel slimy and I wasn't even there." Finch's words filled his ear.

"Yes, well did you by chance record it all?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese."

"I'm on my way to the locker room and then I'm going to search for Mary Caldwell." John changed into his black running shorts, a stark white wife beater muscle tank top, and running shoes. He exited the locker room and headed down the long corridor to find where Mary Caldwell happened to be at. John pushed a heavy blue door open to look inside, seeing it was the weight room where several men were already working out. John scanned the room to see if she was inside, and found her in the corner.

John entered the room, and neatly weaved through the men to where Ms. Caldwell was assisting a man as he was lifting weights. The man dropped the dumbbells down to grab her ass. John watched as the woman smacked his hand hard. "Finch, I don't think Mary Caldwell is the perpetrator."

"No?"

"Oh come on bitch, I'll give you an additional fifty and show you a real good time."

"And I say go find another woman; there are plenty of them here willing to take you up on your offer."

"Finch, she's not sleeping with the men here," he said quietly.

"Maybe Ms. Caldwell is the victim after all. If Kim Keston finds out, she might terminate Ms. Caldwell permanently than risk the young woman exposing her secret." John watched when the young woman stood alone with her shoulders slumped looking upset. John hurried towards where she stood grabbing the dumbbells the man had dropped to go find some other woman.

"Hello." John said quietly, and the woman looked up. She turned to look at him and blinked a little at him before a small smile appeared on her face.

"Hello."

"My name is John." he began doing quick a succession of reps and she stood there ready to help if he needed it.

"I'm Mary, you're new here."

"Yes."

"Well newsflash buddy, I'm not going to sleep with you." she said with a fake smile on her face.

"No?"

"No! I don't sleep with the men here for money, never have and never will no matter if they look like you, a damned Adonis." John smiled slightly.

"Ms. Caldwell, I know that. I also think you might be in danger because of it." She stared at him.

"What?"

"Keep your voice down Ms. Caldwell. I am here for no other reason then to protect you, but I need to know why. Are you planning on taking Ms. Keston and her operation down?" She looked around the place.

"Who are you?" she hissed. He dropped the dumbbells down.

"Pretend I bought you, so we can go talk, Ms. Caldwell." She sighed, nodding her head. She lead him out of the room, down another long corridor and they entered a room with a bed in it.

"Okay who the hell are you?"

"My name is John, but I'm not here to start a membership or any other reason then to find out who wants to hurt you. Why did you start working here if you don't sleep with the men?"

"I thought this place was a legitimate fitness center. I made a terrible mistake that I will continue to pay for the rest of my life. I killed a woman and a child because I had to pretend I was the most important person in the world." Tears filled her soft amber colored eyes. He could see the weight of what she had done bringing her down still. "I had to seek counseling for it, and I will never truly forgive myself for what I did, but I am trying to rebuild my life. When I got out of prison, I wanted a job, but not many people hire you when you have a felony."

"So you lied on the application?"

"Yes. Its terrible, but it's the truth. I didn't realize that they did background checks. Ms. Keston kept me anyways seeming smug like she knew I was a felon, she docked my pay, then told me about the additional services they provide here I balked, but she knows as well as I do that I have nowhere else to go. So I just refuse the men each and every offer I get."

"Okay, so why does someone want you dead?"

"Maybe its because I've been trying to find a way to bring her down and I told her that a few times, most recently last night at dinner. She followed me to Luigi's to tell me that she would ruin my life if I went public with the knowledge I have on her. I told her there wasn't anything she could do to shut me up, once I had enough proof I was going to oust her dirty little secret!"

"That will do it." John sighed. "She's going to make it look like an accident and since you are a felon and she's got a squeaky clean image, she'll get away with it." Lionel had gotten back to them with the lists of names. Everyone single person on the list had a felony on their record except for Ms. Keston.

"Who are you?"

"I'm here to give you a second chance at life, Ms. Caldwell."

"Even if I don't entirely deserve it."

"You deserve it." He smiled softly at her. "I know what it feels like to do something that cannot be undone."

"I met with Dale Erikson, he forgave me for killing his wife and son. I don't know how he could when I can't forgive myself, but he did."

"Well I'm going to get you out of this Ms. Caldwell, I promise, and you can learn to forgive yourself again." John sighed feeling like a hypocrite by telling her she could learn to forgive herself, when he wouldn't allow himself the same thing. Their situations were different he reasoned with himself, he didn't deserve forgiveness while she did. John hated that he was having an internal argument with himself, so he decided to put it out of his mind til later. "But first I need to get you to a safe place so I can take care of the threat against you." John grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the exit. John sighed, seeing two big burly men making their way over. Great, when Ms. Keston claimed to have cameras everywhere, she really did. Which meant his cover was blown and they were going to kill him and Ms. Caldwell. "We have some company Ms. Caldwell, but don't worry you are safe with me." He flashed her a quick grin. "Finch you still there?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese. What do you need?"

"Ms. Keston is sending hired men to kill Ms. Caldwell and me right now." He let out a sneeze. "I need you to send the recorded conversation to Lionel, so he can get an arrest warrant for Ms. Keston and get here quickly."

"Of course Mr. Reese. Be careful." John pushed Ms. Caldwell back a little. He put a finger to his lips to tell her to remain silent and she was trembling already. He stood behind the door waiting for the men to burst in. He didn't have to wait long and John attacked.

* * *

"That dinner was amazing Joss." Cal sighed leaning back against her couch as they sat together sipping wine and enjoying each other's company. Joss smiled, feeling herself relax a little. It was a nice dinner, she had made him lasagna and meatballs.

"Thanks."

"I'm glad we decided to eat in, Joss."

"Me too. No annoying waitress." No interruptions or seeing a man that was slowly filling her head more and more.

"Or loud parties around us."

"Yes, or screaming children," Joss joked.

"I had been wondering if maybe last night you had a change of heart."

"About what?" she asked sipping her wine.

"When we were at the restaurant we were having a nice time and then all of a sudden it was like you were miles away. I was worried and then you disappeared on me and wanted the date to end."

"Sorry Cal, its just hard, you know. I'm not used to dating."

"I know that Joss. I just am glad that it was my imagination."

"Yeah."

"And that kiss was amazing last night."

"Yeah." She forced a smile on her face. Amazing wasn't quite the word she would use to describe it, maybe okay or decent, but not amazing. She set her wine glass down on the coffee table.

"I think I want to experience it again." He leaned forward and Joss held her breath. The moment has come. She was going to keep her expectations low and allow herself to experience Cal Beecher without comparing him to John Reese. His lips brushed against hers, and…nothing. Joss tried to not panic as his hands slid into her hair and zero sparks ignited as he kissed her, so she tried deepening the kiss. Okay, still nothing, not even a tingle at having his mouth on hers. Not like having John's mouth touching hers, scorching her from inside out. Joss sighed as the memory of John's soft lips filled her head once again. His mouth on hers seeking more of her, his tongue was so velvety smooth and glorious. Joss found herself getting lost in the memory of John's mouth, and suddenly it was his mouth that was on hers right now instead of Cal's. Joss's eyes slid shut hearing John's breathing, feeling John's heat. She felt herself drowning in her need of John. She broke the kiss staring in his big blue eyes, feeling like this was a dream that she didn't want to wake up from.

"Oh god John, more." Joss moaned capturing his soft pink lips again, wanting to run her hands through his soft, short mane. John's mouth was intoxicating making her ache for it on her lips, on her body touching, tasting, exploring her. She felt herself grow needy, and sought more of him. Joss was shoved back and her thoughts of John fled, when she was sitting across from Cal Beecher and not John Reese. She felt shaken inside. That had been an intense experience that left her reeling. It seemed so real like John was with her and not Cal.

"What did you just call me?" he demanded as he rubbed away her lipstick from his lips.

"Um, what?" she ran a hand through her hair as she stood up abruptly trying to calm the churning emotions inside her.

"You called me John."

"No I didn't," she shook her head refusing to believe she had said that out loud. Joss might have imagined it was John she was kissing but surely she hadn't called Cal by John's name!

"Yeah you did." She saw hurt and anger war on his face. Joss turned away from him. "Who is this guy?"

"He's no one."

"He's got to be someone, you just don't blurt out some random guy's name while kissing another man, Joss!" the man had a point.

"He's a friend."

"A friend? Joss, you were thinking about _a friend _while you were kissing me?"

"Yes." the word was barely spoken above a whisper. Joss felt terrible right now. She had imagined it was John she was kissing and not Beecher. Her imagionation had run wild and was what made her feel that consuming need, and made her seek more and more. Now she stood with Beecher feeling empty and wishing to be with a tall, dark, and lethal man who had brilliant baby blue hues that she got lost in.

"I can take it Joss, just be honest with me. He's not a friend is he? You're seeing someone else as well as me."

"No, I'm not seeing him." she looked into Beecher's eyes and he nodded.

"But you wish you were." she placed her face in her hands for a moment before looking back at him, struggling with herself. She didn't know what she wanted.

"Maybe, I don't know. John's complicated."

"Complicated?"

"Yes John's a mess, Cal."

"And you want to fix him."

"John doesn't need fixing, he needs healing." Joss looked away, feeling overwhelmed. God, this was so screwed up. Cal was what she thought she wanted, but John was who she needed. But John was stuck in his dark past, while she didn't like thinking about hers. It wouldn't work between John and herself. She had a great guy in Cal; why couldn't she feel anything for him?!

"So what do you want Joss? Him or me?" Cal demanded.

"I don't know, I really don't know!" she whirled around away from him, feeling unwanted tears form in her eyes. She didn't want to answer this question, afraid of the answer.

"Joss, him or me?" Cal demanded as he grabbed her elbow forcing her to look at him.

"I can't get him out of my head, Cal. I want to, but I can't." The unwanted tears slid from her eyes as she looked him dead in the eyes. She knew she was hurting him and she had no way of stopping the words from flowing from her mouth. "I don't know what to do." She was at a loss. Cal liked her a lot, she knew that, and he could give her the security she longed for. Someone that wouldn't be able to destroy her heart into tiny little pieces. But the feelings she had for John were so overwhelming and strong she couldn't pretend they didn't exist anymore. It took too much energy and willpower that she didn't have in her, she wanted John even if she shouldn't.

"I'll make it easy for you then Joss. I'll leave." He let go of her and turned around. His hurt was evident and she felt sick inside. She had just hurt a good man. She watched him without saying a word as tear after tear slid from her eyes. He grabbed his jacket, and opened the door, pausing to look back at her. "Have a nice life Joss, and I hope things work out for you with your mess." With that he turned and slammed the door shut. Joss decided she deserved a good long cry as she hadn't had one in a while. The tears flowed down her cheeks at a quick succession as pain, fear, and confusion forced her slowly back onto the couch hugging the throw pillow, to cry like a baby.

* * *

Author's note: OMG angst fest or what lol. I seriously need to get sending my friend and proofreader my happy go lucky story since I realized how completely angst ridden this story is. Poor Joss, the girl is in need of someone to lean on! John just burying himself in work as always instead of confronting his own issues. But seriously someone needs to go bathe Reese off after that piece of work gave him such a slimy offer...are their any volunteers };P

I think I was pretty nice to Beecher, since I could have been a lot meaner to him :D I mean he just doesn't measure up at all in any shape or form to John :)

Thanks as always for reading/reviewing you guys are so sweet I adore you so much :)


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's note: Can I tear my hair out now? No, can't since I just got it all pretty for a couple parties I'm going to soon, I'm blonde again :D**_ _**But I wanted to say I'm sorry for taking SOOOOOOOOOOO long to post or even to respond to your PMs or reviews, I had some issues with this website for some reason my computer was being attacked repeatedly by a lot of viruses whenever I logged in on here, and my computer crashed! So, it sucked and I thought I lost all my work(I'd cry seriously lol) but thankfully I backed everything up so yay for remembering to back my stuff up! So a word of advice, always back everything up it saves you all kinds of headaches and troubles :D  
**_

_**Hope you enjoy, and I'll try to get chapter 7 up much sooner then this one, as long as this website keeps working and not try to attack my computer with viruses I think I'll be good :D**_

* * *

Joss, walked into the station the next morning carrying her coffee, her shoulders slumped.

"Hey, look at what the cat dragged in." Fusco laughed and Joss looked at him. "Whoa, quite literally. You alright, Carter?"

"Been better." She tried to smile but she couldn't even pretend.

"You didn't catch Mr. Happy's cold now did you?"

"No." Thankfully, she didn't have time to be sick anymore than John did.

"Okay lay it on me Carter, tell me what's got you upset so maybe I can help?"

"Cal and I decided to stop seeing each other," she said quietly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he tried to sound sincere.

"Thanks Fusco, I know you didn't trust him but I did care about him."

"So wait, does that mean Beecher broke things off with you? He's an even bigger idiot than I previously thought!"

"It was mutual Fusco." She looked away.

"Oh geez, I'm sorry Carter."

"Me too."

"If you need anything let me know." She looked up at him and nodded.

"Thanks." She was prepared to do paperwork all day and just bury herself in her work to put off figuring out what to do with her feelings for John.

"Oh did I tell you that Mr. Vocabulary and our bane of our existence nabbed a potential killer."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah Ms. Keston was going to kill Ms. Caldwell to keep her prostitution ring under wraps. Ms. Caldwell is going to testify against her, as well as numerous other women that had been forced to work at Ever Fitness." Joss nodded slightly. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed John's number, waiting two rings before he answered it.

"Hello, Carter." He sounded weary. She knew it was because of their heated argument from yesterday.

"Hey, John." She knew she sounded down but she couldn't help it. She had called to see if he was alright and feeling better. But now that she had him on the phone the need to tell him how she felt burned a hole inside her.

"You alright?" his weariness vanished, replaced by concern.

"I'm fine." she sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"No, something's wrong, is someone bothering you? Are you in danger?"

"No, nothing like that. John, can we talk-privately?"

"Sure. I'll be heading home in a few hours; you want to meet me up at my place say three o'clock?" She eyed her wrist watch, seeing it was ten a.m. and nodded her head.

"That sounds great." She hung up, needing to prepare herself mentally for later. She needed to get this off her chest and out in the open. If she didn't it was going to slowly eat away at her. Consequences be damned, he needed to know, because she couldn't pretend anymore that her feelings for him didn't exist.

* * *

John wasn't sure what this was all about, but as he climbed the stairs of his apartment complex he found Joss sitting at his door waiting for him to arrive.

"You're early." he said and she looked up. She looked even worse than yesterday. Her eyes were hollow, as if she hadn't slept in days. He hurried towards her and helped her up.

"Thanks."

"Carter, are you alright?"

"We need to talk, John, but inside please." He nodded his head, unlocking his door and allowed her in first. Swinging shut the door to his place he eyed her quietly, taking note the defeated posture and the slumped shoulders. Something had Joss Carter down.

"What's up?"

"We're still friends, right John?" She asked slinging her purse on the floor beside the kitchen island. She turned to look back at him.

"How can you even ask that? Of course we are."

"Even though I cornered you yesterday about Jessica?" He sighed as he moved forward taking his jacket off as he did so. He hung it up and he shrugged off his suit jacket, slinging it on his bed. John walked into his kitchen and pulled out a beer offering her one, which she shook her head no. He opened the beer and eyed her for a moment while he drank some of it.

"Carter, I thought a lot about what you said and you're right...partly." John paused trying to figure out how to explain how he felt. He wasn't very good at voicing his emotions, Joss was eyeing him, looking as if she needed it though. "I didn't want to hear it but I can't deny what you said about Jessica, because some of it was the truth. I loved her and I failed her when she needed me the most, so yes, I guess I'm a little hung up on that fact." John hated the need to go on the defensive with Joss, she was his friend but yet it was there. The need to protect himself even from this conversation was so intense, he longed for a bottle of Jack to wash away his pain that this conversation was dredging up.

"Do you still _love_ her?" John had no idea why they were talking about this, but she really seemed to need the answer. Her eyes were wide, she looked so pale and tired. She looked worse than he did and he was battling a cold.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Please, John, just answer the question. I need to know the honest answer. Do you still love Jessica?" He had asked himself that same question a million times since her death, the answer had slowly changed over time. He didn't feel the soul crushing ache for Jessica anymore, thanks to working and befriending Finch, and to this woman standing right in front of him.

"A small part of me will always love Jessica, Carter, but I'm not _in love_ with a dead woman as you pointed out yesterday. I'm trying to learn to let my guilt over her death go, which is sort of hard for me." John watched as she closed her eyes and a smile filled her face. John moved forward, towards her. "Joss, what's wrong?"

"Cal doesn't want to see me anymore." She reopened her eyes, staring at him. John tried to not feel happy about her misery, but he was.

"I'm sorry, Carter."

"Are you?" The question threw him off and he didn't want to answer it.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you sorry, John? Are you sorry he doesn't want me?"

"What type of question is that?" He demanded buying himself time.

"An honest one that deserves an honest answer." John looked away, chugging his beer down.

"Carter, I have no idea what you want me to say."

"I just want your honesty, John. Are you sorry that Beecher doesn't want me?"

"No."

"Why?" John stared at her. If she didn't leave soon, he'd surely tell her that he couldn't stop thinking about her, wanting her, or that he was ecstatic that Beecher didn't want her anymore because he had been jealous. No, he couldn't because he was a damned sinking ship, and she wouldn't listen to him to stay away. Joss was too damned stubborn for her own good.

"Carter, I have no idea what's going on here, so if you could please just tell me why you're here so we can both go our separate ways, that would be great." he sneered hoping she would just go, he didn't want to admit why he was happy that Beecher broke things off with her. Then she'd have even more questions he didn't want to answer. Joss's face lit up angrily and he sighed. Well, that hadn't worked because now she was pissed instead of leaving!

"I'll answer it for you, John, you just nod your head yes or no if I'm right or not. You are happy Beecher is gone because you were jealous of him." John hated that he was that transparent, that his feelings on her dating another man was that easily noticeable. Instead of answering, he decided to go on the defensive, and he slammed his empty beer bottle down on his counter top.

"Carter, not to be rude or anything, but you can see yourself to the door, I don't have time to talk about something that doesn't affect me." he sidestepped her, walking away from her towards his living room area, flicking on the television. Maybe he could find a basketball game to watch and put aside his feelings for this woman.

"It affects you John, admit it."

"Why?" He turned, staring at her as anger flashed inside him. "Why does it matter if it affects me or not, Carter?" He watched as she strode over towards him, looking as upset as he was.

"Because its your fault why we broke it off!"

"My fault?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, your fault. You kissed me and it messed everything up for me."

"What kiss Carter; it never happened, remember?" Her brown eyes blazed in anger at her own words being thrown at her.

"That damned passionate kiss you laid on me, John! The one I can't get out of my head! Every time I think I can get it out, its right back fresh on my mind, your lips on mine making me feel things I haven't felt in years." He understood because he had the same problem of getting it out of his head.

"Carter, what do you want me to say, it was a mistake and I'm sorry?" But he wasn't sorry, at least not that the kiss happened, maybe he was sorry for what it was doing to their relationship.

"No, that's not what I want you to say." her voice wobbled and it cut through his heart. John was hurting her and it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Fine, I'm attracted to you is that what you want to hear? I can't stop thinking about you, Joss, I kissed you for no other reason than I couldn't help myself!" John felt the confession ripped from him. They stood staring at each other wide eyed, realizing their relationship was shifting regardless if they wanted to let it happen or not.

"You're my friend and I don't want to mess that up."

"Neither do I."

"But I'm attracted to you too, John. When you kissed me, it awakened something inside me and I'm afraid that I can't go back to being just your friend." She stared at him helplessly. "I can't get you out of my head either."

"I don't know what to do about it though. I can't love, Joss, and you deserve love."

"Yes you can John, you are capable of love. You're just afraid of the emotion, like me." John stared down into her eyes, knowing that. They both were similar in so many ways and yet so very different in others. "Kiss me again, John. Please." John lowered his head unable to fight it and touched her lips with his, moaning at the softness of her lips. John felt himself being enveloped by her, being surrounded by her as he cupped her face while he kissed her slowly and lovingly. John pushed back even though she moaned a protest.

"Joss, I'm not sure if I can give you what you need. You should be with Beecher, he can give you what you want." She smiled softly up at him.

"I like him as a person, John, but I can't string Cal along when I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for him. There's no sparks between us, John. Not like there is between you and me. I have feelings for you. I think I have had them for a long time, I just never acknowledged them." He nodded in agreement with that. He had underlying feelings for Joss, quite possibly since he met her. The more they got to know one another, the more those feelings evolved inside him.

"The other day when I just acted, just kissing you without thinking it freaked me out, Carter."

"Good, I'm glad it freaked you out."

"Why?" He smiled a little.

"Because I'm not the only one petrified of our feelings, John." He chuckled. Okay so they admitted to having feelings for one another, being afraid of what those feelings meant, and not knowing what to do about them. Well nothing was really clear between them other than the fact that they are attracted to one another and they share mutual feelings.

"So, what do we do, Joss?"

"You're asking me?"

"Yeah, I recall an angry Joss Carter yelling at me that I never let her voice her opinion or listen to her, so what should we do first? What's your plan, Joss?"

"Oh, thanks John, for leaving the tough decisions up to me," she huffed and he smiled. "Well, I think we should-" she paused, clearly trying to think of something for them to do. He couldn't help but tease her, to lighten the moment up between them.

"That's a great plan, Joss, I'm glad you thought of it."

"Shut up, John!"

"Not so easy, is it?" She shot him a look and he stopped teasing her, waiting to hear what she came up with.

"Well, we could actually do something about our feelings for one another." Okay it was already better than his plan of doing nothing.

"Like what?"

"I don't know-like date?" Okay so it didn't sound like the most amazing or original plan, but it was a plan. He just didn't know if he could 'date' as she said. "And not date in the typical sense of the word. I know you have lots of enemies and people looking for you. You'd be too worried about everyone coming for you to really enjoy yourself out on a normal date. But where we spend time together, just you and me without any persons to save, without Finch and Fusco. Just us John, doing something together that we enjoy. I don't need to go out to dinner to have an enjoyable time with you. In fact I wouldn't mind seeing what John Reese could whip up for dinner for a date."

"You want me to cook you dinner?" he asked as she slid her arms around his neck. John felt himself falling harder for this woman and he needed to keep himself in check. He needed to be cautious of this, to watch and see what happened between them.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing you cook in that beautiful kitchen you have." Her smile grew wide as she eyed his kitchen.

"What would you like me to make you?" Her eyes shifted to his again.

"Anything."

"Anything?"

"Yeah." she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him. Joss's kiss was light and tender before she broke away. "Wow even that light of a kiss makes butterflies flutter in my belly, John," she sighed. John had left his earpiece in and it rang.

"Hold on, Joss." He pushed away from her, glad because he had a distraction from her. He clicked the button. "Hey, Finch."

"Oh dear Mr. Reese, we have a big problem." Finch sounded out of breath and worried.

"What's wrong?"

"We just got new numbers."

"As in plural?"

"Yes, as in 25 separate numbers. Its unprecedented for the machine to ever have given me 25 numbers before! We need Detectives Fusco and Carter's help on this. Some of the numbers include the governor and his entire political staff. I'm still searching on the other individuals but please hurry, Mr. Reese."

"Relax, Finch. I'm on my way and Carter will be on stand by." He could feel Joss staring at him. He clicked off with Finch. "We have a big problem, Joss."

"What, what's wrong?"

"Our source just gave us 25 separate individuals that need our help."

"25?! Has that ever happened before?"

"No, and we need to hurry."

"Okay I'll head back to the station."

"Thanks." John grabbed his jackets, while she grabbed her purse and they hurried to his door together.

"John?"

"Yeah, Joss?"

"We'll talk about you cooking dinner for me later?" she asked with a soft smile lighting up her face. He echoed it.

"Definitely."

* * *

Author's note: Okay, so crazy amount of people that need help but I enjoyed making this tiny little caselet that's coming in the next chapter because it adds to the mystery that comes in chapter 9 and 10 just an fyi for you guys :D John and Joss talking about their feelings was long overdue, and their date is coming up soon as well. Hopefully you guys are in for the bumpy ride that is the rest of this story because there's action, romance, drama, action, and some more drama on your way :P

Thanks for reading, and reviewing as always I appreciate you guys! Oh and the btw who has seen Haven on SyFy my friend told me about it and I'm in love with the show :D Nathan and Audrey are super duper cute :)


	7. Chapter 7

"What have we got John?" Joss asked as she answered her cell on the first ring. John had left to go wherever he met up with Finch at and she had headed to the station. She felt like a load had been lifted off her shoulders after talking with John about their feelings. She felt better and she felt like their relationship was on even better ground than previously.

"Its true, 25 separate people we need to save and its bad, Joss."

"Give me the names so Fusco and I can help."

"It starts with the governor and his entire political staff. Finch, already looked it up, and we know who the other names are as well."

"Oh god!"

"Yeah, for us to get all their names at once, could quite possibly mean that they will be attacked at the same time."

"Okay, um do we know where they are all going to be at?"

"Finch, hacked into their computers and found their itinerary. The governor and his staff are all going to be on a private yacht in less then an hour from now."

"What?!" That didn't leave them much time to save their lives.

"Yes, the other men and women are people working on that yacht as caterers and the yacht owner himself, Dean Newman. Joss, I'm already heading over there but I need you to get the Coastguard and police in on this, maybe even bomb squad if all these people are to die the killers may use an explosion get achieve that."

"I'll get Fusco on it and I'm coming with you. Where is it?"

"No! Help Fusco get the Coastguard."

"John, it doesn't take two people to do that, let me help you."

"Fine, meet me at pier 54, its just south of the Hudson River Park, that's where the yacht is docked at."

"I'll be there." Joss grabbed her jacket. "Fusco call Coastguard;someone is going to blow up the yacht docked at pier 54, south of the Hudson River Park. The governor and a bunch of other people are going to be that yacht in less then an hour. We need all the help we can get to clear the area! Get bomb squad there too!"

"On it!". He called out as Joss ran out of the station, determined to go help John with this. Joss flew down the steps as fast as she could, running full speed to her car. Joss quickly dialed Finch's number putting him on speaker phone.

"Are you on your way detective?"

"I'm getting there." she answered flipping her lights and siren on, blowing past stopping cars. "John almost there?"

"Yes, he's arriving at this moment." She clenched her teeth together, worried about him being alone. Of course he didn't call her soon enough.

"Finch, do you guys have any idea whose behind it?"

"We have a hunch that its our good pals in HR."

"HR?!"

"It could be the big thing going down that Detective Fusco overheard Simmons and the head of HR talking about."

"Why would they want to take out the governor, unless the next in line has his hand in HR as well, whoever that is?!"

"Possibly, but for now we need to concentrate on saving everyone on board the yacht. Please hurry detective, the governor has arrived earlier than expected." Joss sped and in another fifteen minutes she arrived at pier 54. She saw John's car parked haphazardly. Joss exited hers and heard approaching sirens off in the distance. Thank god for Fusco. Her eyes widened when she saw a couple squad cars already here. If Finch and John were right, HR were already here planting a possible bomb to kill numerous innocent people. Joss yanked her gun out as she ran onto the pier, seeing a gigantic yacht nearest the shore with what appeared to be white and black balloons and several people on board. That had to be it. Joss ran forward yanking her badge out.

"NYPD EVERYONE OFF THE YACHT NOW!" she demanded running up the ramp. She heard several women let out startled yelps as they slowly began climbing the ladder on the yacht, up it and onto the ramp. "I want everyone at least a hundred yards away, everyone needs to evacuate this yacht and the surrounding area NOW!" she holstered her gun while pointing and motioning with her other hand to move. Women were walking down the ramp first, and Joss saw SWAT, the bomb squad, and the Coastguard arriving. Thank god, but she needed to find John. With her luck Donnelly, would show up finding the man in the suit. Joss quickly dialed John's number.

"Hello." he sounded out of breath. Joss jumped when she heard gunshots fill the air. Screams erupted around her as the men and women already on the ramp with her began running away from the yacht.

"John, where are you?"

"Bottom deck, Simmons and some other HR pals are down here rigging a bomb as we speak." she heard more gunfire. Joss ran onto the yacht, yanking her gun back out of the holster and finding the staircase that lead to the bottom deck.

"On my way, John."

"Be careful, I'll distract them." Of course he would. She heard gunfire happen below and she jumped down, seeing one of HR's men. Joss fired her gun and clipped him in the knee. He cried out, dropping to the ground holding his leg. Joss dove behind wooden crates and out of the way when Simmons saw her and aimed at her. Joss crouched down, hearing wood splinter behind her as bullets filled the wooden crates she was hiding behind. Joss kept her gun drawn even as she pulled out her cell phone while John straightened to fire buying her some time.

"Finch, you there?"

"Yes detective, are you and John alright?" he sounded panicked.

"We will be, but bomb squad and-" she paused rearing around what she hiding behind to shoot at Simmons and a couple of the other dirty cops surrounding Simmons. "-and cops are arriving. We need to get John out of here just in case Donnelly should make an appearance." She hid her head hearing wood splinter above the crates she was hiding behind.

"Carter, you alright?!" John called out, she searched, seeing him in the corner, crounched behind his own crates, sitting across from her. She smiled at him, feeling like it was them against the world yet again.

"Yes, John." she answered, rearing around firing again, clipping the guy next to Simmons. "Finch, you near the pier?"

"Yes, I'm almost there myself, detective." she hung up on Finch as she eyed John across from her.

"John, you need to go." She called out, before firing some more.

"I'm not leaving till I know you are alright, Joss." he answered back, firing some more himself. She smiled as a cry of pain filled the air, knowing he clipped someone.

"John pretend you were the last one to evacuate off the yacht. I got SWAT, bomb squad, real cops, and the Coastguard here to help me. You need to get off before someone realizes you're the man in the suit! GO!" She heard the sound of heavy boots on the ramp as well as screams of NYPD and SWAT. Joss got up fired gaining Simmons's attention and she heard John running over towards her. John paused breathing heavy near her ear as they both hunkered down as Simmons returned fire. He was the last one left that wasn't wounded.

"Be careful Joss," he rubbed her back.

"Will do, now go, John." She answered before she popped back up, firing to allow John time to climb the steps before Simmons could shoot at him. "DROP YOUR WEAPON SIMMONS AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" She called out, dropping back down, waiting as she heard several more bullets hitting wood behind her.

"GO TO HELL CARTER!" Joss waited for backup to arrive down in the bottom deck, running low on bullets. She didn't have to wait long because SWAT dropped down from the top deck.

"In back!" Joss called out flashing her badge to the SWAT, they nodded. "Simmons, I suggest you stop firing and put your hands in the air; you are about to be surrounded," Joss called out. In a matter of seconds she heard several men shouting at Simmons to put his hands on his head. Joss popped up and aimed her gun, watching as Simmons was thrown to the ground.

"Bomb is armed, get bomb squad down here immediately!" Joss nodded holstering her weapon once more as she hurried up the steps.

"Bomb squad, you're on!" she shouted, and several men rushed down the stairs towards the bottom deck. "We need everyone to evacuate the surrounding area now!" Joss shouted to anyone that would listen. The Coastguard was already doing so. Joss ran down the ramp, down the pier, seeing John in the shadows near the crowd but standing apart from them. The governor and several others had swarming reporters around them while Joss made her way over to John. "You okay, right, John?" she asked, touching his hand.

"I'm fine, Carter, Finch is making his way over here," She looked the way John pointed and saw Finch limping towards them off in the distance. She nodded her head which meant they were just co-workers right now. She pulled her hand from his, turning to look back at the scene behind them. "They armed the bomb, John."

"I tried to get there before they had a chance to."

"Thank god for your source, we might not have been able to stop them from arming it but we have a chance at stopping it from harming anyone." she looked back up into his eyes. "Who or what exactly is your source, John?"

"When Finch tells me I'm able to tell you, you'll know." She sighed, deciding it was enough for now. She was going to corner the little man and find out exactly what his secret was.

"We got Simmons, and once he's in custody I'll see if we can get him to talk. We need to know who the boss is of HR."

"This doesn't seem right Joss." he said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Why would they go after the governor? Isn't it too extravagant of a plot for HR? It doesn't add up, Carter."

"Maybe it was Elias that hired HR to go after them."

"No, HR has been gunning down Elias's men. It seems like they had a falling out, perhaps." Joss saw the uneasy look in John's eyes.

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know, but something just feels off about this. It feels like a set up, like we were meant to stop this." She, for one was glad they stopped it, a lot of people were saved thanks to John and Finch.

"A set up? For who, HR?" John was just paranoid. HR was probably hired by some crackpot wanting to get into the governor's seat himself, or HR wanted one of their men on the payroll in the seat.

"I'm not sure, Carter." She looked away from John and saw Finch, breathing heavy finally made his way over. She smiled slightly. "You okay, Finch?" Joss could hear the laughter in John's voice.

"Fine, I didn't anticipate the police were going to barricade the surrounding area quite so far down. They made me walk over a mile to get here. But I'm glad to see that both you and John are alright, detective."

"Thanks Finch. I should go and head back to the station and when Simmons is brought in, get to be in on the interrogation of him."

"Do that, and if not get, Fusco to force pair with one of the detectives that is in on the interrogation." She nodded, hating the illegal wiretap, but sometimes it came in handy.

"Will do." Joss stared at John one last moment before she casually brushed past him and walked back towards her car while John and Finch went to John's.

* * *

It was past nine o'clock that night by the time John entered his apartment. His stomach rumbled reminding him he hadn't eaten anything since the morning as he slung his keys on the table near the door. He shrugged his coats off, and began unbuttoning his dress shirt. He yawned a little before a mighty sneeze escaped him. Well damn, he had been hoping his cold was going away. John turned sharply when he heard a knocking at his door. He walked over, looked through the peephole and opened the door with a smile. Joss stood there holding a bag of food.

"You still owe me a homemade dinner John but I figured we deserved something quick tonight." he stepped back to allow her in. She walked into his place almost as if she owned it as he shut the door softly behind her.

"What did you get?" The aroma was intoxicating and his stomach growled again.

"Hamburgers and fries," she grinned pulling out the Styrofoam boxes.

"Don't you need to get back to your place for Taylor?"

"Not yet, I called him up and he said he already ate. He said he was going to finish up his homework and head to bed."

"Beer Joss?" John asked as he walked into his kitchen.

"Yes please, after tonight I need one." He smiled, pulling out two beer bottles, handing her one. They both snapped the caps off, taking healthy gulps of the liquid before sitting down to eat.

"I didn't know you were a hamburger lover, Joss." Damn, was this hamburger good. He wondered where she got it from.

"I save hamburgers for spur of the moments, its never good for my figure that's why I didn't order fries with mine." She laughed as she bit into hers. He eyed her as he munched on a fry.

"You look good from where I'm sitting." She eyed him with a smile.

"You're a big flirt, John; but its because I don't eat these very often." she smiled reaching over grabbing a fry from his box. "Simmons was tight lipped," she said between bites of the fry.

"I expected as much."

"I do think we dented HR though, John; Simmons had to be the boss's right hand man."

"Yeah, except until we can get the head honcho of HR, they will just replace Simmons and the others who are all expendable."

"I know, that's the bad thing. Its aggravating that we are so close at bringing down HR and yet we can't."

"We will."

"I hope so, John," she sighed. "Now to change the subject, I got a question for you John."

"Shoot."

"Now that we admitted to having feelings for each other, and we agreed to 'date' in our own way, what do we do about Finch and Fusco?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do we tell them or not? I didn't know the protocol earlier, so I just pretended we were just friends." John stared at her before a smile tugged on his lips.

"So you're letting me decide this tough decision?"

"No, I just want your opinion."

"Well, maybe we should keep this between us for now and see how things go for us, Joss. If we both decide to be nothing more than friends then we told them for no reason." He wasn't sure if he could be just her friend, but if she didn't want him romantically, he'd try for her sake.

"I agree, but not for that reason. I think we should get a chance to be just a man and a woman attracted to one another, spending time together without Finch and Fusco's voices in our heads," Joss said, thinking out loud.

"What? You don't think Lionel wants me to date you? I'm hurt," John pouted. Joss smiled as she nodded her head, picking up her burger to take another bite before speaking again.

"Yeah, well I don't think Finch will want us to date anymore than Fusco." Now that he agreed with Joss on. Finch wasn't going to be happy if he learned they were dating.

"So this is our little secret then?"

"Yes." She reached over to grab another of his fries, he touched her hand when a disturbing thought occurred to him. She looked up into his eyes in question.

"Its not because you are ashamed to be going out with me right, Joss?" he needed to know because if that was the case he didn't want to drag her down. John wished the words back because the smile fled her face replaced by a very angry expression. If looks could kill, John was afraid he'd be a goner!

"How dare you think that John?! I don't want to tell them for the reasons I just told you. I don't want them butting into our affairs and mixing us up anymore than we already are. John, we already have ourselves trying to talk us out of this; that this will never work, that we should remain just friends, and all they will do is fuel that fire. If we don't want to date one another I want it because its what WE want to do, what's good for US, and not what's good for the team!" John tried to get a word in edgewise but she just rambled on, looking angrier and angrier at him. "And how dare you believe I would even think to be ashamed of dating you. I have a half a mind to shoot you for even saying that to me! John, have you looked in the mirror lately. Women probably throw their panties at you to get you to give them a second glance, you're amazing man. John you're intelligent, you're funny, you are very loving and I can't believe that you are looking _my way_. And another thing John-" John held out his hands when she didn't take a breath.

"Whoa, calm down Joss, I was just making sure that this is what you want. I'm sorry for making you this upset." She was glaring at him, while she was breathing hard from her long winded rant. Her eyes soften as if realizing it was a worry for him. Which it was, John wasn't so sure he was good enough for any woman, least of all Jocelyn Carter.

"You're what I want John. I tried to deny it, I tried to fight it, and I can't anymore. Even though they scare me, I want to see if these feelings between us take us anywhere."

"Okay."

"I'm not saying it will be easy for us because we are both gun shy John, I just think that there is something connecting us, and I want to explore it."

"How about you come over tomorrow night if I don't have a new person to go save and I'll cook you some dinner?"

"Sounds good to me." she grinned leaning into him. "What time?"

"Seven?"

"Perfect." she snatched another fry, but this time out of his hand and ate it. John eyed her a little with a smile before he grabbed another, just enjoying spend time with her. He had to figure out the perfect dish to make her for their first official date.

* * *

Author's Note: Hi, sorry to everyone that was waiting for a new post for like almost two weeks, but this month has not been so great to me :( But things are better for me now, and so to make up for the lack of updates I'm giving a two for one special today, chapter 8(the date) will be posted today at a later time I have to go to work soon...which happens to be in my own home but that's besides the point its still a work day for me.

About this chapter, I love BADASS Joss, she owned those HR boys :D John's turn is coming up though because there is more action in store for you guys :D

Thank you for reading and reviewing as always you guys are so nice and kind to do so. I'll figure out a way to make up for the fact that I couldn't post anything for almost two weeks. Hmmmmmmm, well I could get around to making that Carter and Reese video that has been on my mind for a bit for you guys I'll just have to figure out a better way to get you guys the link to the video. Well I think I figured out how to make it up to you guys :D Thanks again!


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's note: Hi, here's the second chapter today as promised, the date which is literally the calm before the storm that happens in the next chapter :D**_

* * *

"Are you going out with Detective Beecher again, Mom?" Joss pulled the curling iron away from her dark hair, eyeing them in the mirror. Joss hoped John was a sucker for curls. She was hoping to get some more hot kissing action out of the man tonight. He sure knew how to kiss a woman!

"No Taylor, I'm not seeing Cal anymore."

"No?" she could hear Taylor coming closer. "Whose the guy?" She turned to look at her son who leaned up against the doorframe of the bathroom to watch her. Joss looked back to the mirror once again and grabbed more of her dark hair to curl.

"He's a great man, Taylor, and I really like him."

"Dodging the question mom. Who is he?" Damn he was definitely her kid, with being intuitive and quick on his feet.

"Okay, before you freak out, I want you to know I'm capable of taking care of myself and I'm happy with this." Scared out of her mind about what could possibly be happening between herself and John, but a happy scared. Joss was sick of the indecision between them and was glad for this first date. This date was going to let them know if they were destined to be just friends or if these feelings between them had any real substance.

"I know that Mom." She pulled the curling iron away leaving bouncing curls in her hair and she turned to eye her son more fully.

"Its John."

"Who?"

"John, the one that saved you."

"Ooooooooh, you're 'friend,' Mr. Badass." She rolled her eyes when she watched him do air quotes around friend. She turned back to the mirror, yanking the plug for the curling iron out of the socket before grabbing her lipstick. "I like him, Mom; he's a cool guy."

"Yeah, you like his badassery."

"He's totally kick ass, Mom, you should have seen him go!"

"Yeah, well I've seen him in action before." She had to admit watching John in action was pretty hot now that she thought about it. "Taylor, I really like him." She stepped away from the mirror, eyeing herself all dolled up for John. She worried she overdid it. John was cooking dinner at his place, should she have gone all out like she did? Was John going to freak out? She sighed as she turned to her son. "How's your old mom look?" Taylor smiled at her as he eyed her.

"You look hot Ma," she then watched as his smile faded and a look of seriousness appeared. "He better treat you right." She smiled softly. She had this same talk with him when she mentioned she was dating Cal.

"John's a gentleman, he'll be on his best behavior."

"Good, because I really like Mr. Badass. I don't want to have to hate him for hurting my mom."

"Thanks kiddo, but don't worry your old mom here, I can take care of myself." He held out his fist and she bumped it. "Now you're staying at Vinny's tonight, right?" She asked as she motioned for him to move so she could leave the bathroom. She had only twenty minutes to get to John's, and she lived a good fifteen minutes away. This is why she should have chosen something to wear sooner rather than flip through her closet twenty times to find the perfect first date dress for John.

"Yeah, we are going to our study group and then head back to his place."

"Okay, just give me a ring when you get to his place; I want to make sure you're safe." She kissed the top of his head as she yanked her jacket on.

"Yeah I will Mom, don't worry. Have fun on your date tonight." She waved at him as she exited her apartment and rushed down the steps to hurry before she was late to her first date with John.

Joss sped to get to his place on time and she knocked on his door a minute before seven. She felt so damn nervous her palms were sweating. She hadn't been at all nervous when she went on her first date with Beecher, so what gave? Joss, swallowed the lump in her throat as she heard footsteps and sniffling coming from the other side. The door swung open and Joss nearly sagged against the doorframe.

"Hey Joss." John, stood in a dark blue dress shirt with the top two buttons open and a pair of black dress pants. The blue of his shirt highlighted the color of his eyes perfectly. All in all, John looked gorgeous.

"Hey John," she responded, staring, and John moved back to allow her to enter, but she couldn't move. She was too busy soaking in the sight of him. 'Handsome' failed miserably to describe how devastatingly gorgeous this man was.

"Joss, you can come in," he smiled down at her, making it much harder to think since John smiled very seldomly and she always felt mesmerized whenever he did. Joss composed herself as she entered finally, trying to not look so starstruck.

"I'm glad that you didn't get another person to save, John. I've been looking forward to this date all day," she admitted as she unbuttoned her jacket sliding it off of her body.

"I did get someone to save, I just hurried up and finished it before tonight. I was looking forward to tonight as well." He looked and sounded nervous as she turned to watch him shut the door, sneaking a glance at his butt, thankful he was sans his suit jacket giving her a very nice view tonight. She lifted her gaze as he turned not to get caught staring. "Wow Joss, you look amazing, I love you with the soft curls." His fingers itched to run through them. His soft spoken words made her feel beautiful, but it was his hungry stare that made her feel desired. John's stare was hot and intense which normally Joss would shift uncomfortably with, but not with him. Joss felt sexy under his penetrating gaze. Her pale pink silky dress had been her last ditch effort before she had gone out to a department store to buy a new dress. It was one of her favorite dresses before tonight, now with John liking this dress it became her absolute favorite dress.

"Thank you, John. You look great too." John moved forward to take her coat, and their fingers brushed and a surge of heat spiked between them at the gentle touch. John stared down at her as he took it and leaned down a little. "What are you doing?" she breathed as he hovered inches from her.

"You smell so good, Joss." she grinned as he stepped back carrying her jacket to his coat hooks near the door.

"It is a new scent John, I wanted to try out out on you." She waited till he turned to look at her as she followed him towards the kitchen. "It is Victoria Secret's Very Sexy Temptation." She moved towards him, loving the look on his face. She inhaled his own scent, loving his deep masculine cologne. But another aroma caught her attention and it was whatever he was cooking. "What ya making?" She went to lift the top of the pan and he grabbed her hand.

"What do you think your doing? No look-sees."

"Oh come on, just one."

"No."

"Pleasssse," she pouted, and he sighed.

"Fine, one tiny glance." He lifted the top and she peeked inside and he slammed the top back on.

"I smell chicken," she sniffed. "You're making me chicken?" She grinned.

"Fine, its Cajun chicken pasta. I looked up the recipe online. You mentioned you loved chicken last night so I tried to find a decent recipe for that."

"Oh my god, John you are so cute!" she chuckled, turning from him while grabbing the bottle of wine sitting on his kitchen island.

"Cute?" She eyed him slyly. He looked so taken aback at being called 'cute' it was hilarious. She laughed happily as she began opening the wine for them.

"Yeah, cute. What, the big bad John Reese doesn't like being called 'cute'?"

"I can assure you Joss, no one has ever called me cute. Maybe my Mom did when I was little, but I don't remember." He turned back, lifting the top of the pan off and began stirring. She eyed him from head to toe from behind him.

"You're definitely not cute from this angle, John." Sexy, hot, over the top, but not cute. She grinned, waiting for him to turn to look at her. She was rewarded for her patience when he turned after stirring the noodles in the sauce.

"Whose the flirt now?" He grinned as he walked over towards her to help her when she fumbled with the wine bottle. "Are you trying to seduce me, Jocelyn?"

"I'm not ready to have sex with you." She blurted out. John coughed hard and then sneezed promptly. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes I am, and I didn't mean it that way, Joss." She hadn't been intimate with a man in a very long long time. She never found any guy she was halfway attracted to to sleep with. Joss wasn't one to fall into bed lightly or with just any guy. She needed to know him, respect him, and truly like him before she slept with him. She had a feeling John was going to be that man in the near future. "Tonight is just to see if we want to be anything more than friends, Joss, I wasn't expecting sex tonight."

"No?" Well that was good because Cal seemed to have been expecting it and had been thoroughly disappointed when she sent him packing with just a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"No." Joss saw the honesty in his blue eyes and was grateful. "And to be totally honest Joss, I'm not ready for that to happen between us either." He looked away and she saw a vulnerable look flicker across his features. She felt herself melt. John was just as skittish as she was.

"John." she said quietly walking towards him, watching as he stirred the pasta in the pot. She reached out ceasing his hand's movement to get him to look at her. "That must have been hard to admit, but I'm glad you did because it makes me feel better."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the only one scared of getting intimate. That's a huge step, and I want us to be sure of our feelings before we just hop into bed." He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers for only a brief moment.

"Thank you Joss for understanding." She felt the oxygen clog in her throat when he pulled back and emotions filled his eyes. She already felt connected to him, but she was going to take this one step at a time because both she and John needed that.

* * *

"John, you're lying!"

"No I'm not, its a true story."

"That has got to be a lie." She snorted with laughter as they sat on his couch. She had her legs pulled up under her, having taken her heels off a few hours ago as they lounged on his couch talking. He shook his head holding up his hands.

"True story."

"I cannot believe Finch was high!"

"He was, it was during the time you weren't speaking to me."

"Right, when you got my friend shot up."

"I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, I know you were." Joss looked at her watch, blinking. John looked at his own and his eyes widened. It was past one in the morning. "Wow, look at how fast time flew by." She stood up and he followed.

"Yeah," John nodded wishing she didn't have to go. He hadn't realized that after dinner they were just going to sit on his couch and talk. But they had done so, for about five hours. "I had a great time Joss, even if this is my first date in years."

"This was a wonderful night, thank you John." She leaned forward brushing her lips against his cheek briefly before pulling back only slightly.

"Joss," he sighed grabbing her cheeks and kissing her fully on the mouth. She sighed happily as if she had been waiting for him to kiss her all night. He felt her arms wrap around his neck as he tasted her again and again. Joss kissed him back with equal intensity and John pulled back quickly before the kiss raged out of control.

"I don't want our date over yet, John." she still had her arms locked around his neck and his hands had fallen to her slender hips. "I don't work tomorrow, so do you have any movies here?"

"Movies? No, but I'm sure we can find one on cable." He stepped back and they walked back to his couch. Their eyes remained on each other as they sat down next to one another and he stretched his legs out onto his coffee table and hers followed suit, leaning into him. John looked away first to grab his remote to flicker through the stations to find them a movie, when he felt her snuggle into his side. John wrapped his right arm around her while he continued to flick through the stations. "Well, there's this war movie, or some dumb comedy Joss."

"Dumb comedy." she said looking up at him while resting a hand on his chest. They sat together for a while chuckling a little at some of the obvious stupid humor, and soon he didn't hear a peep out of her. John looked down at her seeing her eyes shut.

"Joss?"

"Hmmmmm?" she sounded like she was already falling asleep. He ran a hand through her soft curled, dark hair before stroking his palm from her bare shoulder down her arm. He leaned his head back so he could eye her and remained that way for a long time, watching her sleep wondering how did he luck out to have her share his feelings?

* * *

Author's note: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww aren't they just too precious spending time together flirting, talking, and kissing :) They make me SQUEE hard! Next chapter there's quite a bit of stuff that happens, here's a little prelude to it:

_**"Please Mr. Reese, you know as well as I do that the machine wouldn't give me your number unless you are in danger! Please just let us help you."**_

Uh-oh, John's in trouble :D Lets just say it gets a little hairy for team machine! Thanks for reading and reviewing you guys are the bestest peeps in the entire galaxy :)


	9. Chapter 9

Joss sighed as she awoke slowly. She blinked her eyes open, having no freaking idea where she was at, but it slowly came to her. She was at John's place. She remembered wanting to prolong their date and suggested a movie. She must of fallen asleep. Joss lifted her head a little from her soft and warm pillow-which just so happened to be John's chest. She found herself on his bed, on top of his covers, both of them still very much in their clothing. Joss felt his arm under her curled around her protectively, making her feel treasured. John must have carried her to his bed last night and she sighed eyeing him as he slept on.

God, she could just sit and watch him and never get tired from it. His lashes were dark against his pale ivory skin and she reached out touching her dark hand against his soft cheek. She hoped he was feeling better. He wasn't sneezing so much and his raspy voice was clearing up a little. Joss longed to brush her mouth against his to wake him up but she wanted a little bit more time of just gazing at him to her heart's content. Joss had gotten about ten more minutes of gazing before his eyes flickered open when she shifted a little.

"Morning there, John." she grinned before lazily kissing him on the lips. She leaned back and he smiled up at her sleepily.

"Morning, Joss." she lifted a hand once again to touch with her fingertips against his jaw as her eyes caressed his face.

"Is this really happening, am I really awakening in John Reese's bed?" she asked lightly.

"If-if you're asking did I-" She put a finger to his lips shushing him.

"I know you wouldn't take advantage of me, you're a gentleman, John; even if you have a low opinion of yourself, I don't share in it."

"Sorry Joss, its just I didn't want you to think I took advantage. I just wanted you to get a good night's rest so I carried you to my bed." Joss was feeling the effects of waking up in his arms. She should be shocked by her body responding to his without him doing anything, but she wasn't. She felt achy for him. She damn well needed to get out this bed before things happened before either one of them was ready for it.

"You're a wonderful pillow John, in fact you're my new favorite pillow." His soft laugh filled her ears as he gently rubbed a hand through her hair. Joss kissed his chin lightly before she made a move to get up and away from him, but he held onto her. Well, she could snuggle for a little longer, she'd just ignore the ache that was growing inside her for him. She snuggled closer to him securing her arms around him.

"Using me to aid in your sleep, I see how it is." She leaned her chin against his chest to look up at him, grinning like an idiot.

"Yep, I can't believe I got to sleep with John Reese." he laughed, shaking his head. Well technically it was true, though all they did was sleep, which was intimate in its own right. Sharing a bed, waking up in each other's arms, and it didn't scare her. Oh contraire, it made her want to experience it more, but she had feeling that she wouldn't want to just sleep next to John the next time. John stared down at her, seeing his blue irises darken a bit. Well, well, someone was having similar feelings.

"Joss, we better get going." but neither one of them moved.

"Yeah." she agreed, still locked in a very intense stare with him. "But first I could cook you some breakfast," she offered. John broke the eye contact first, and looked up at the ceiling appearing tempted by the offer.

"Sounds delicious, but if I don't get going our mutual arrangement of keeping this between just us will go out the window. Finch will be here in an hour if I don't show up soon."

"Right, our little secret will already be found out after two days." she sighed not wanting to let this man up. Couldn't he take a day off? It would be nice, but what if he was needed to help someone? She would never forgive herself if he could have been there in time and she had gotten in the way.

"Finch is astute Joss, he'll probably figure it out quickly anyway."

"Yeah, because your normal routine will be broken."

"Oh, so you know my routine?"

"Yeah, let me guess John, you go to work early, work all day and night, come home to sleep and that's about it."

"I do eat somewhere in there too, Joss."

"With Finch right?"

"Well yes, but not all the time. He's a very private person."

"We're doomed, we will never be able to hide this from Finch for very long, John. I'm selfish, I want more of you than being squeezed in before bedtime."

"That's not being selfish Joss, its just being normal." He sighed running a hand across her body. "I guess we could just see how things go. If Finch figures it out we will deal with it when the time comes."

"I like that, and if he tries to fill our heads with 'this shouldn't happen' I'll buy him a muzzle." She grinned propping herself up on his chest watching him before he turned abruptly to sneeze. "When did you become so good at coming up with plans, John? I recall some of your earlier plans this week that were less than stellar which you are still paying for."

"Oh, what about your plan for us, Joss?"

"What, what's wrong with my plan for us?"

"Your plan of dating was so original that I couldn't have come up with this myself. How ever did you come up with it?" She put her hands on each side of his head on his pillow bringing their lips inches apart.

"I don't hear any complaints from you," she said smugly. Her eyes falling to his lips wishing for them back on hers again.

"I need to get going, Joss." She flicked her gaze back up to his eyes.

"Alright, alright I'll go but I want you to promise we set up another date soon."

"I promise." his breath washed across her lips, and Joss hadn't felt this kind of rush in a long time. Joss leaned down, capturing his lips in a fun, flirty way before she lifted up and hopped out of his bed.

"Hey, what kind of kiss was that!" John sat up in bed and Joss felt desire fill her all over again at seeing John in bed, looking sexily rumpled. Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm was he hot.

"The kind that makes you want more." She winked at him, hurrying to put her heels on.

"I'll say," he agreed flopping back onto his bed. Joss smirked yanking her jacket on and grabbed her purse.

"Call me later John." He looked over at her hungrily-and not for food.

"Sure will." She blew him a kiss and fled out the door practically skipping down the stairs in happiness. Joss yanked her phone out making sure she didn't have any missed calls. She needed to head home, get a shower in, see Taylor, and wait anxiously for John's call.

* * *

John needed to get going before Finch hunted him down to find out where he was at and yet he couldn't move off his bed. He still couldn't wipe the stupid smile that settled on his face. Carter wanted him just as much as he wanted her and she understood his fears because they mirrored hers. They both were afraid of being hurt, so they were going to take things slowly. Things were definitely looking up. He hadn't felt this happy in years and it almost felt wrong for him to be like this.

But he was trying to put his past behind him, some days it was easier while others not so much. He lifted his head when he heard a something that sounded suspiciously like a helicopter close by. John coughed a little as he rolled out of bed when his phone rang. It was probably Finch wondering where he was at or to call and let him know they got a new number. Whichever the case may be, he needed to get his ass in gear and put last night out of his mind or Finch would know quickly that he was seeing Joss. He felt another smile tug at the corners of his mouth thinking about her. He picked up his cell phone and answered it quickly.

"Hey Finch." he sneezed again. Damn it he wished this darn cold would just go away already. He had it for days now and he had no time to be sick.

"Mr. Reese, its imperative that you get to the library immediately!" John narrowed his eyes, at the panicked tone in Finch's voice. Something was definitely wrong and something had his friend worried. When Finch was worried so was he.

"What's wrong?"

"We have a new number."

"Okay, who?"

"Please just hurry Mr. Reese I'll fill in the details when you arrive at the library." He didn't like the sound of this. His mind immediately jumped to Joss, with her problems with Elias and HR. What if her number came up again? He would put her in a safe house and gladly rip anyone apart that tried to harm one hair on her head!

"Is Carter alright? Its not her number again is it?" He hadn't realized how tightly he gripped the phone until he realized his hand was hurting.

"No, the detective is alright, Mr. Reese. It's not her number that came up." Finch sounded out of breath, and the panic lacing his voice was almost making it tremble.

"Okay, so who is it?" Please let it not be the governor's number again or another big group like the other day. But even still when those numbers came up Finch sounded worried, but not terrified like he was right now. It had to be someone Finch knew.

"Will you just come quick Mr. Reese?"

"Finch just tell me who it is?" he demanded as he hurried to get a fresh dress shirt, one that wasn't wrinkled.

"Its you, Mr. Reese!" His steps halted. Him?

"Me?" he shrugged, feeling all his urgency fading. He walked causally to his closet, throwing it open, wondering why this had Finch in such an uproar.

"Yes, you Mr. Reese, now please hurry!"

"I'll be fine," he yawned.

"You are not grasping the severity of this, Mr. Reese. Someone wants John Reese dead which means they know who you are."

"They know my alias Finch, not who I really am," he corrected. Now if they had his surname that would have freaked him a little bit because he hadn't gone by his real name in a very long time.

"That may be, but still 'Mr. Reese' is supposed to be dead, John. Which clearly you are not and someone has found you!"

"Harold, you worry too much."

"Please Mr. Reese just come quickly as possible to the library so we can sort through this."

"You're going to worry about this no matter what I say, aren't you Harold?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese, I couldn't live with myself if my purpose of saving numbers gets you killed."

"Finch, relax okay? I'm heading over." He sighed, needing to head over there anyway. Finch sounded ill over worrying for him. He couldn't let the man freak out like he was without going to check on him. John unbuttoned his dark blue dress shirt he had worn on his date last night. He shrugged it off quickly pulling on the white, crisp one. "Hey Finch, lets keep the fact that my number came up from Carter, all she'll do is worry." He already had enough with Finch worrying, if Joss knew that their source gave his name, surely he'd be cuffed in the backseat of her car trying to protect him.

"Mr. Reese, I'm afraid I cannot agree to that. I need the detective's help in finding out who may want to harm you, and I need to get you in hiding." He tried to control the irritation growing inside him. He wasn't going into hiding! He was going to find the threat to himself and deal with it just like any other number. He just so happened to be the number this time.

"I'm not going anywhere, Finch." Finch must be out of it with worry if he thought he was going to go into hiding like their usual numbers. He wasn't scared and he could care less if someone came after him, he could handle himself.

"Please Mr. Reese, you know as well as I do that the machine wouldn't give me your number unless you are in danger! Please just let us help you." John opened his mouth to argue some more with Finch when he heard a hard knock on his door.

"Hold on Finch, someone's at the door." It wasn't Joss because she had just left his place and there was no reason as to why she would come back.

"John don't answer it. I'm on my way." John rolled his eyes. What was Finch going to do to help him? Poke the perpetrator in the eyes? No, he didn't want Finch anywhere near him just in case an old enemy has found him and wanted to kill him.

"Stay where you are, Finch." John took his gun with him as he walked to the door looking through the peephole to see who it was. John felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up when he didn't see anyone. John's bad feeling grew worse, sensing that he was drawn to the door on purpose to distract him, when he heard glass shattering behind him. He whirled around seeing four well armed people with masks on entering his apartment from his broken window, swinging in from the rooftop.

"MR. REESE?" John, couldn't address the shrill panic in Finch's voice because he had to concentrate on the men that just literally crashed into his place.

"I'll have to call you back, Harold!" He dropped his phone and dove behind his kitchen island when the men in front of him started firing their weapons. John hunkered down behind his kitchen island when he heard the door to his place burst open, wood splintering, and more men in black entered. John aimed his weapon at the men as they rounded the corner towards his kitchen. There were a lot of men rushing him, and he just fired at whoever was the best target.

John clipped two of them in their knees before he felt a piercing in his shoulder. He gasped and lifted his gun to aim at the man that just shot him, hitting his knee. John looked down at his shoulder after taking out all the men that had entered his front door, when more gunfire filled the air from the men that entered through his window. John pulled out what they shot into him. It was a tranquilizer dart and he was already beginning to feel its effects. John rolled to his left when he heard a man rounding the other side of the kitchen island and shot the man in the leg, earning a cry. John punched hard when he was surrounded by another two men from behind him.

"Don't make this hard on yourself." The man's thick accent filled his ear as he struggled to remain conscious, fighting desperately against the other three men as they struggled to carry him to the open window. John kicked out, breaking free and fired his pistol directly at the man's kneecap. The man screamed in agony and John whirled around, landing a punch on the masked man's face that was in front of him. John felt someone wrap their arm around his neck from behind and sink another tranquilizer dart in his neck. He reared his head back to head butt the man, earning a grunt, even as the sedatives they injected in him made John see double. John felt a hard blow to his back and he dropped to his knees, dropping his gun.

John turned and saw more men dressed in black running into his place from his door. Shit, how many more were there? John connected another punch, even as his strength was fleeing. John had four sets of hands tugging his arms behind his back. "Stop resisting."

"Fuck you." He slurred even though they had securely tied his hands behind back and now were struggling to get him up. John was desperately trying to hold onto his consciousness as the loud roar of the helicopter grew louder, and he kicked out connecting with a man's jaw. But John felt another harsh blow to the back of the head sending him careening to the floor once more. Blackness laced the edges of his vision as he felt hands on him again, this time he couldn't fight back. He lost the battle for his consciousness and everything went dark.

* * *

Author's note: Poor John, I mean seriously he was outnumbered there, but by who is the more important question which will be answered. But the beginning of this chapter was light and fluffy it just ended not so good for John lol.

Thanks for reading and reviewing you guys are the best :)


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm so excited! I cannot hide it!" She hummed along with her radio as she drove away from John's place. Her cell rang and she grinned hoping it was him. She was hoping he had decided to call her and tell her that they could have date number two tonight. A girl could hope, right? She sighed seeing it was Finch. Great, just her luck he wanted to saddle her with one of their people they needed to save which meant no date for them. But she could get to work with John and get a promise for a date then. So it still could be a win-win situation for her.

"Hello."

"Detective you need to head over to Mr. Reese's place right now!" The pure terror in Finch's voice was almost enough to make her heart stop. Something was terribly wrong.

"Whoa, what's wrong? Is something wrong with John?" She flicked her cop lights on swerving to do a U-turn in front of several cars.

"John's being attacked right now."

"WHAT?! I just left his place like ten minutes ago. He was fine!"

"I don't know detective, my source that's never wrong gave me John's num-name. We have to hurry he's in grave danger I could hear gunshots being fired, Jocelyn!"

"Oh my god!" She stepped down hard on the gas pedal. She came up to his building and she saw a smashed window up near his floor and a black helicopter flying away. She threw her cell down, and grabbed her walkie. "I need backup on 810 Baxter Street, apartment 5A! HURRY, SHOTS FIRED!" Joss was out of her car quickly, running as fast as she could to the entrance, her gun drawn. She could hear sirens filling the air already, knowing someone must of already called the police. Joss kept a calm professionalism about her as she hurried to John's floor. It nearly faded when she saw his front door kicked in, hanging barely on one hinge. Joss licked her lips as she pointed her gun in front of her, walking in. "NYPD!" she shouted. Joss's breath caught, seeing bullet holes littering the place, a significant amount of blood on the hard wood floor.

"JOHN!" she screamed when she saw him. He was half laying half sitting on the floor near the broken window. His eyes were shut and his arms were behind his back. He was bleeding from a head wound and he was laying in shattered glass from the window. Joss scanned the area as she ran towards him. "You okay?" She fell to her knees in front of him, checking for a pulse sighing in relief when a strong one beat against her fingers. "John, wake up!" She gasped in agony, eyeing him. Joss looked around his back seeing thick rope restraining his hands behind his back. From the looks of things, John fought long and hard against whoever was coming to attack him. Joss looked back at the blood in the middle of the open room, sensing he kneecapped a few of them. If she speculated by the amount of blood on the floor she'd say John had been severely outnumbered and anger burned inside her. Damned cowards, coming after a lone man with a damned army! Of course, it would take an army, well trained at that, to take him down.

"John, please wake up." She looked back at him and pulled out her army knife, cutting the bindings. She reached out touching him and his eyes fluttered. "Yeah concentrate on my voice and try opening your eyes." Joss saw something blue beside John. She reached over him and picked it up. It was a tranquilizer dart. This attack wasn't to kill him, it was to grab Him. "John, can you hear me?" she asked touching his face.

"Yes." His eyes opened just barely.

"You put up a good fight." she picked up his discarded gun pulling the clip out seeing it was empty. "Who did this?" she asked, helping him up as he struggled to sit up.

"I don't know, they had an accent." his voice was barely above a whisper she had to strain to hear him. She was going to have to wait till the sedative wore off to get more information out of him.

"Are you hurt anywhere, John?" She'd seen the blood coming from a head wound, she prayed he hadn't been shot.

"They got a couple hits on me, but I'm okay. I lost consciousness, I have no idea what spooked them out of here." Joss kept an arm around him as he struggled to get up off the floor. Joss walked with him to his bed, getting him to sit on the edge of it. If she had to venture a guess she'd say that the sirens sounded because of the gunfire, and they were having a rough time getting John knocked out long enough to grab him. They split before they got caught, which meant surely they'd be back to try again on another day. Well not on her watch. Joss reached out to caress his cheek needing to touch him to make sure John was truly alright. Joss, turned seeing a sea of uniforms entering with guns drawn. She flashed her badge and their guns lowered.

"We need an ambulance for Mr.-" she paused not sure whose name was on the lease.

"Warren," he whispered. Joss saw Fusco enter and his brows rose high in surprise when he saw John.

"Hey Fusco, I was on my way to the precinct when I heard that shots were fired in Mr. Warren's apartment; thought I'd help. Men apparently broke through his window and door, both were broken when I came in. It appears they were trying to kidnap him."

"Kidnap him?" when he was close enough he leaned into her. "You sure they weren't trying to cap him, Carter?"

"He was hit with a tranquilizer dart." He nodded. Joss turned, seeing the crime scene unit lifting up another dark blue tranquilizer dart. Her eyes rounded on John. He was hit by two of those?! How was he even awake right now?

"Yep, definitely attempted kidnapping, just why do they want wonder boy alive? I thought most people wanted him dead?" he looked around to make sure no one was listening to them.

"I don't know, but I'm going to damn well find out." Her eyes were on John who was surrounded by paramedics who had just entered the apartment. It took about an hour for her to answer all preliminary questions to Denton, who was lead on John's case. Fusco promised to piggyback the investigation and keep her posted. Joss hurried to the hospital where John had been taken by ambulance even though he had tried to resist. A young woman stood behind the desk and she rushed to her.

"Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. John Warren. He was brought in possibly an hour ago." the woman typed into the computer.

"Yes, he's in room 610." She smiled and thanked her, hurrying to the elevators. When she got to the sixth floor she searched the waiting room area on the floor, looking for Harold. When she didn't see him she scanned for John's room number. She found his room with relative ease, where she heard Finch and John's voices filtering through the door quite easily. They were in a very heated argument.

"Its not up for discussion Mr. Re-Warren."

"You're right Mr. _Wren__, _its not up for discussion because I'm not doing it." Joss threw the door open, entering without knocking earning shooting glares from both men. John's stormy look ceased when he saw it was her, but Harold's was very much in place. She never thought she'd see Finch angry with John.

"What's going on in here?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest so she could resist the urge to wrap her arms around John.

"Good, I'll have some backup here." Joss flicked her gaze off John to Finch, who presumed she'd agree with him on whatever they were arguing about.

"Harold, Carter isn't going to side you with on this. She knows as well as I do that I'm needed in finding these people."

"What's going on?" she asked again not about to agree with either man till she heard what the discussion was about.

"John, here seems to think that he's just going to help in our investigation on whom wants him dead."

"Harold, if they wanted me dead they wouldn't have shot me with tranquilizer darts."

"They still shot you, John!"

"Boys, calm down both of you!" she snapped when both their voices raised once more. John looked as angry as did Harold. "Now that you two have shut up, I'm going to side with Finch on this." she said quietly which earned her a dark look from John. "Oh don't give me that look John, would you or wouldn't you say the same thing to me?"

"Its different."

"Why?" she demanded. "Why is it different between me and you, John? Is it because you're a man?" She scoffed at that. But she didn't get an answer to her question because a doctor walked in. "Is Mr. Warren going to be alright?" she asked.

"Who are you?" the doctor asked before even answering her question. She flashed her badge at the man.

"I'm Detective Carter and I'm on the case, I was just asking him a few questions about what happened."

"Yes, he's going to be fine. He had high levels of fentanyl in his system which is now wearing off. We took x-rays of his skull and we saw no fractures from the blow to the head, though we did see some evidence of old fractures. We are going to prescribe him with a high dose of pain medication just in case you have any lingering pain Mr. Warren. I'll be releasing him in about an hour." John nodded his head. The doctor left and she turned to look back at him.

"You're lucky, John."

"I'll be fine," John said, ready to talk about something other then his condition. "The men had an accent, I'd say British. I took down at least six of them but there were more arriving. I don't know how big the squad was, but half of them were packing real guns while the other half had tranquilizer guns." She tried to stop the anger inside her as he just breezily mentioned how many men attacked him.

"Damned cowards," she said between clenched teeth, earning her a look from John. "Where did their bodies go? When I got there it was empty."

"Seems like they abandoned their plan of taking me and saved themselves instead."

"Quite possibly to make sure no one captured them so they wouldn't jeopardize whoever they work for," Finch sighed. "By the time you are released Mr. Reese, I will have secured you new living quarters." Joss watched as the small man hobbled out, leaving her alone with John. Joss took the few steps forward grabbing his cheeks and kissed him. She had waited patiently for them to be alone and she wasn't going to waste it. John sighed as his hands landed on her shoulders as he kissed her back. They kissed for several minutes before she broke it off, afraid they'd be interrupted.

"I'm going to find who did this to you, John." She stepped back, dropping her arms to her sides.

"We'll do it together." She nodded, deciding to take that for now. She didn't want to argue with him anymore, she just wanted to take him to his new place to stay and make sure he was safe.

* * *

John entered his new apartment Finch had purchased him. It was even bigger than his previous place. He looked around as Bear, Finch, and Joss followed him into it. His new place wasn't just one big open room anymore. The industrialist kitchen adjoined to a spacious living space which was already furnished for him. It had less windows then his previous place but what windows there were overlooked the city. He had a small hallway that lead to the giant master bedroom straight ahead with an adjoining bathroom, while the guest bedroom and guest bathroom hung to the right.

"Do you like it, Mr. Reese?"

"Its quite nice Finch, but I'm not worth all the trouble." He looked back at Harold who waved him off.

"Damn Finch, I'm going to have you choose my next apartment." Joss looked around. "But then again I can't afford this sort of place on a cop's salary."

"I noticed that this place is closer to our work place, Finch."

"Yes, I figured you'd be happy with the lower commute." John suspected their was an underlining other reason as to why Finch chose this place. He looked out the window and saw several cameras lining the street below. Yep, it was to keep a better eye on him. He sighed, resisting the urge to yell at the small man, knowing it was done out of fear for him. John's cell rang, and he picked it up seeing it was a blocked number. He answered it slowly.

"Hello Mr. Reese." John immediately recognized the voice.

"Hello Wesley." Finch's eyes widened while Joss just looked on, not sure what was going on.

"It really is a shame that you keep winning my games, though I'm sure the next time we play I will have the advantage."

"Games? You're the one that tried to grab me, weren't you?"

"Yes, you are highly skilled and intelligent, Mr. Reese; you outwitted and out did my best men." John heard a touch of humor in the man's voice, as if he found it entertaining of his men's follies. "But I'm guessing you haven't figured out that I was the one to hire that pathetic organization known as HR to kill your governor just to lure you out into the open."

"You hired HR to kill the governor for no other reason than to play a _game_ with me?" John was angry and he was going to kill this son of a bitch. He placed a lot of lives on the line, including Joss's that night.

"No, I didn't hire HR to kill the governor to play a game with you John, I hired them to kill the governor, so I could watch you." John stiffened, while Wesley continued, "I don't quite know what it is that you do or why you do it, but I did realize that you come out when people are in need of assistance."

"So you set it up for a lot of people to die to see if I'd come to save them?"

"Yes, and you did. You're a good adversary, John Reese, but I must bid you farewell for now."

"Oh yeah, giving up so easily Wesley? I'd say you're a pitiful adversary if you are."

"Oh I am not giving up at all, Mr. Reese, just regrouping. I assure that I learned a lot about you in our little games together this week."

"Next time you come after me yourself."

"Oh I promise you, Mr. Reese, that the next time you'll be coming to me." John hated the smug sound to his voice.

"How so?"

"See you real soon, John, for that drink I want to buy you." John pulled his cell phone away from his ear when he heard the dial tone.

"Wesley was behind this, Mr. Reese?"

"Yes, and behind the governor's attempted murder."

"Just to what lure you out in the open?" Joss asked, looking shocked.

"Yeah, that's not the last we've seen of him and the next time I see him, I will kill him," John vowed.

* * *

"Mr. Wesley?" he looked up from the scotch he was drinking as he sat alone in a booth at the local bar. He saw one of his men that wasn't injured standing there.

Wesley smiled when the man held out a manila envelope towards him. Finally, they got the information he needed.

"Oh good."

"When would you like us to strike?" Wesley opened the manila folder, looking back up into his man's dark brown eyes.

"When I'm sure you can handle it! I sent in over ten men to nab Mr. Reese and none of you could handle the mission."

"He's quite skilled, Mr. Wesley."

"Which is why I need to acquire his services. He's astounding, a rare find, and I could use a man like him on my team." Wesley pulled out the photos, and papers.

"He's not just going to willfully work for you, Mr. Wesley."

"I don't need him to willfully want to work for me, now that I have this," he waved the envelope and grinned, throwing back the rest of the scotch. "Now that I have our leverage at acquiring Mr. Reese's services, I will force his hand at working for me or she dies." he pointed at the photos of Jocelyn Carter at Mr. John Reese's apartment last night, the two locked in a kiss. "Follow her every movement, I want you to know her better than she knows herself."

"When do you wish for us to grab her?"

"Soon, when our men are back to full health and when I'm sure that Mr. Reese is least expecting it, then we'll grab her." Wesley grinned, throwing a twenty on the table before sliding from the booth. He walked with his hired gunman towards a taxi and disappeared into the night.

* * *

Joss watched John as he looked like a caged animal pacing back and forth on the light colored hardwood floors of his new place. Finch had left with Bear about twenty minutes ago and she just watched him. John looked remorseful, angry, and upset.

"Its not your fault you know."

"What isn't?"

"The attack on the governor, its not your fault."

"Joss, this guy wants to lure me out in the open."

"Probably to kill you, John. You need to lay low for a while."

"I can't! Remember, I have a purpose, I have others to save."

"Yeah, well that source, whoever or whatever it is, gave Finch your name too. So you're in as much danger as whoever else comes up too."

"Threat's gone, Joss."

"No its not. He's just giving up for now, but he'll be back."

"So what am I to do, sit here and wait till he does?"

"I don't know John. I don't know what to say here. I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"It won't."

"You don't know that. He almost succeeded in grabbing you, John. The only reason they probably ran off was how many you injured of his men and the sirens getting closer. You were unconscious when I got in there." She moved towards him grabbing his hands. "Whatever he wants you, for its not good and quite possibly could get you killed."

"Joss, I'll be alright, he doesn't know where I'm living now and you need to be careful."

"Why?"

"If he was watching me, he might know about us. About our date and my feelings for you. It might be for the best if we stay away from each other for the time being." Joss watched as he moved away from her, turning his back on her.

"No, its not the best for us to stay away from each other." she disagreed. John turned back and she saw sadness in his eyes. She could see he didn't want to stay away from her as she walked up to him. "I'm a cop John, I can protect myself."

"If anything happened to you..." he paused. "I just don't think it's a good idea to hang around me Joss, not until this guy is caught."

"I don't care if it's a good idea or not. We are just starting something, I'm not giving it up for anybody unless its what WE want, John!"

"Joss, please, I'm trying to do the right thing here. You have a son to think about and we only went out on one date its not like we are in love."

"The best date of my life."

"Joss, stop."

"Why?"

"Because its all my fears becoming realized. Enemies from my past are coming back to haunt me, Joss. I should have stayed away from you because now you could be in danger because of me!"

"Oh my god." she put a hand to her forehead. "We go out on one date and you're already breaking it off with me." She turned from him.

"I'm sorry, Joss, but yes its over."

"Is this what you want?" Pain exploded inside her as tears formed in the backs of her eyes. His rejection hurt, god had she read his signals wrong this morning?

"Its for the best." His reply didn't really answer her question and she flicked her hurt gaze up to his face. And that's when she saw it. The look on his face, his blue eyes, his expressive windows to his soul echoed everything he was feeling at that moment. John wasn't breaking it off with her because he wanted to, he was doing it because he thought it was best for her.

"How dare you?" she whispered, looking down at the floor, afraid of what he might see in her eyes. Joss felt anger pool in the pit of her belly. They had promised one another to break it off, to remain just friends, if it was what they wanted their relationship to be. John wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted to be with him, so he only was breaking it off with her for some stupid noble reason.

"Joss, I'm trying to spare your life." She felt his hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off, growing angrier at him. She whirled around, stabbing her finger into his chest hard.

"This isn't what you want or what I want, this is what you think is the best for me. Where the hell do you get off deciding what's the best for me? The only person that gets to decide that for me IS me, is that perfectly clear, John?"

"Joss, how do you know its not what I want?" She wasn't about to reveal her cards, that his expressions about her gave him away.

"I'll prove it to you." She sneered with a smirk on her face, reaching up, grabbing his face and kissed him. Joss felt his resistance immediately, feeling him stiffen against her, and she wasn't having any of it. Joss parted her own lips on his slowly, tempting him to participate. Joss heard a sigh from him, she wrapped her arms around his neck bringing their bodies flush against one another, wanting him to deny her, daring him too. Joss scraped her teeth against his lower lip, earning a gasp from him. Joss saw her opening and took it. Joss slid her tongue past his slightly parted lips and deep into his warm mouth. John's non-participation fled and he was kissing her back, unable to stop himself. Joss felt his hands on her pulling her to him closer, tangling in her hair, and god, she felt like she was drowning in him. The same fire she felt when he first kissed her threatened to engulf her fully and this time she wasn't going to be afraid of it.

John took control of her kiss as he savagely kissed her. Joss opened her mouth wide, waiting and willing him to fill it with his warm, wet tongue. She didn't wait long until his tongue touched hers, searched her mouth, and caressed the silky walls of her cheeks. Joss moaned hotly when she heard his own masculine groan, needing to be closer to him. She curled her arms around him tighter, his hands slid from her hair down to her hips, and Joss felt achy, hot, and wet between her legs. Joss sought more from him as their lips ate each other's, fused together, and she felt his hardness against her belly. Her head spun with no other thoughts other than him, wanting him to possess her, and she him. They both sprung apart at the same time almost as if they both shared the same thoughts.

Joss could only stare at him as her chest heaved, as his breath came out ragged. Joss knew she had feelings for him, but she wasn't ready for the intense emotions ravishing her at this very moment. They stood apart, staring at one another, breathing rapidly, and leaving herself feeling open, exposed, and vulnerable for him to see.

"Say something, John." She clenched her lips together when the lower one quivered when he remained silent. Self preservation stirred inside her as she whirled around, running for the door, hoping she could make it out of his damned place before sobs escaped her.

"Don't go," his strangled whisper ceased her movements, her hand on the doorknob, and a sob did make its way out of her as she closed her eyes, as if in prayer. "Please Joss, don't leave me," his voice was raspy, but not from his cold. She opened her eyes, turning to look at him, he was standing in the same spot as when she had turned to leave, looking just as exposed and vulnerable as she was.

"All you had to do was ask." She half smiled, half sobbed as she rushed back to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, feeling his arms wrap around her so tightly. Joss didn't know what their future held, whether or not they could both push past their own insecurities, demons, and fears. All she knew was she was going to have John's back just like he had hers, and maybe, if they were lucky and ready to risk everything, they'd have a whole lot more.

* * *

Author's note: okay so this is a whole different version of the final chapter because my original was Joss left and John never stopped her but I was very much afraid of hate mail coming my way lol. Pointy objects and me are not friends hahahahahahahahahahaha, I'll begin posting the next story that accompanies this soon which will be angstier then this story but also slightly more sexy as well :D If you are waiting for the next installment of the Moments series I'm working on it though I'm not sure how long it will be it might be just an one shot because I have two ideas so its whichever one I decide to go with lol. Ooh and I have another small ficlet that's utter fluff, and smuttified coming your way :D

Firstly I want to thank Elaine so much for reading this through for me and her helpful suggestions, I thank you so much for it :D Secondly I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing, and hopefully enjoying it! Thanks everyone XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


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